Great and beautiful post. Thank you for that. It was a feast for my eyes.

I agree . With all of it. Of course I do. It’s all true.

We are getting down to nitty gritty here for me.

The part of my post you highlighted. I can understand how that could be interpreted as offensive.

But for me, as a human being, this is more about who I am I guess. And to a lot of people that is an asshole. But the thing is , I also said the same exact thing about bikers. I used a few examples of the white version.

It’s the stereo type that is offensive and prejudice.

I get that.

Who I am as a person believes that respect and love are about being transparent , showing you my belly. In fact , for me as a person, the more authentic you are, the more you trust and or love me. When I sense that I am censoring myself, I feel like that is a lie and it’s based on fear . Of course some situations I am not going to be walking around naked and singing arias , I get that too. But this is a topic that deserves my authenticity. We can’t really get anywhere if we are faking it.

I resent in a way that it has become offensive to have an honest dialogue about race issues. Because it’s assuming I am racist, when I talk honestly.

I am part Arab. When I get on a plane with Arab men sometimes I freak out . One time I got on a plane with an Arab man who didn’t smile , who looked very angry and I was literally watching him the entire flight. Because I was thinking that I was going to attack him if he tried anything funny.

Although I attempted several times to smile at him and assure myself that he was a nice normal guy. I didn’t give him dirty looks. I didn’t treat him with disrespect , but inside I was scared.

That is blatantly prejudice. Right?

Right. I’m not sure where that fits except to say a part of that is human, I guess. If I took myself very seriously I guess I would have been very upset with myself and scolded myself the entire flight and tried to remove the thought from my mind.

But I know that I am not prejudice in reality. Does that make sense? I was having a reaction based on fear because there are like three terrorist attacks a week arounf the world and we are the prime targets of a group of people I know hate us. And he fit the description.

He fit the description.

He could have smiled back. He could have told me a joke. He could have had a conversation with me about being scared to fly. There was a thousand choices we could have made on that flight. He didn’t. And I was scared.

Am I a terrible person for thinking that? Am I? Am I racist and prejudice against an entire group of people for feeling that way? Even though I am part Arab? My Grandfather spoke Arabic and came from Syria? Am I?

No. I am not. At least I don’t think so.

Some people really think so.

That’s ok. I know who I am.

It might have been even more heightened in me because I’ve studied Islam , I am more aware of the religion than most. I keep up with all the terrorism news. I am intensely interested in this whole subject, ISIS, terrorists, Islam, the Middle East in general.

I didn’t censor myself because it’s not fair.

But also because again, I feel like I can have that feeling and not be prejudice. I’ve heard President Obama say pretty much the same exact thing, in a different way. About the Black perception and culture .

Part of me feels like Ebonics and gangster style isn’t black culture. It’s a disease on black society. It’s toxic for them. Ebonics comes from never getting educated and speaking in broken English. And it was passed down as an accent out of deprivation. Deprived of education. Not being native speakers of English. From the slaves. It’s not retro or urban. It’s straight from the plantations.

I remember in Northern Ca in Oakland when they were trying to make Ebonics a language. I flipped my lid. Why? Because little black kids were being deprived of the expectation of education and dignity. They were so engrossed in a culture of Ebonics that they wanted to excuse them from speaking English. I was mad for those kids. They don’t deserve to speak with an accent that was passed down to them from the slaves. They don’t need to anymore.

Is that prejudice?

Really is any thought that I have or any judgement about black people is that prejudice ? Because I’m white ?

I think when anyone dresses in a certain way or talks in a certainn way, an image is projected. That’s half the reason they choose to dress and speak and act the way they do. People are not forced to speak or dress in any way. That’s personal choice . They make that intentional choice to project that image and that means everyone .

A Biker. Has a standard look. A Rockabilly has a standard look. A Punk Rocker has a standard look. A tattoo artist has a standard look. A gang member has a standard look.

So. What we are asking for is drop the ideas of the images. Right?

Even though I’m dressed like this and I talk like this and I have all the accessories , don’t see the image that I am projecting.

Ok.

I understand that. And I operate from that level in my personal life.

But I also understand the zeitgeist. The people and human nature. I understand that’s not really a realistic expectation for most people. And honestly , people project those images on purpose for exactly the reception they’re going to receive. The Punker for instance . I used to have a Mohawk. I liked the shock value. I thought I was a real non conformist. But I was conforming to the non conformists.

There is a certain image associated with Ebonics and certain styles. That also happen to be projected by a lot of white kids. Because black culture is very cool nowadays. Guess what? White or black, the reception is going to be the same.

That’s what I am saying. That reception isn’t prejudice. It’s also referred to as discernment.

It’s a method of communication , it’s a method of survival , it’s our spider senses. It’s so many more things that have nothing to do with race.

Do I think that a kid who grows up in the ghetto has no choices about how he acts or dresses. Or talks ?

I think his parents actually have a lot of choices , to not live in a ghetto. Today there are so many more options. You don’t have to live in a war zone. You really don’t. There are plenty of same price apartments and lower income housing in better neighborhoods but people continue to make the choice and yes they have a choice to raise their kids there. They don’t have too.

Some people want to say yes they do. But the reality is they don’t . Not anymore and not for a long time.

This is really complicated issue. But I also hold people accountable for their actions. For their choices. Sure I also take into account variables. Fuck.. I know all about them. Sure I was born into privilege. But I also was disowned and abandoned by that privilege and spent a large part of my life in the very neighborhoods we’ve been referring to. I was on welfare and put myself through school.

At the end of day, no one cared that I was in a domestic violence shelter for part of the time I was working and going to school, that I had two kids under the age of three , that I had no money , no support. No one cared that I was an ex junky off the streets. They only saw my grades. They only saw me showing up or not. They only saw me being successful or failing . They didn’t care what happened last night. They didn’t care at all about the variables. They just cared about my choices through the variables .

I think it’s about do certain people deserve more excuses ? Do certain people deserve exceptions to the every day rule? Do certain people deserve to be treated not with true equality but with special and preferential treatment ?

I guess in my heart I don’t think equality is walking on egg shells, or going out of my way to treat someone different than I treat anyone. People have differnt feelings about that. That’s ok.

I don’t think it means I am prejudice in fact I know it doesn’t. Equality isn’t pity. It just isn’t and never will be.

True equality happens when everyone is engaged in it . When all parties involved are taking a certain amount of Responsibilty for themselves. When everyone is allowing it to happen.