Setting Boundaries without Building Walls
Alexainie
8918

I love your writing. You’ve always been one of my favorites.

But sometimes I feel so odd.

( right now I’m about to do what some people consider trolling )

Please understand .. My heart isn’t sitting in any kind of negative judgement . It’s more like an intellectual one. And it’s more like an unbiased observer. We are all so different , but sometimes I really feel as if I am totally different than what is normal. I get that , that I’m a little odd. Maybe insane. Who knows?

Maybe it’s that I didn’t grow up in America and so I just don’t have that focus on other people. That’s a very American thing. To care so much about other people and what they do.

I don’t understand how important medium is to people. How seriously they take it. ( not you in particular. But as I read the comments , I feel like I’m in a group therapy session. I mean that in the nicest way)

Which is fine. But not all of us are that sensitive and feel as if medium is alive, idk… this isn’t my life. It’s a virtual platform that I dump my writing on. For me. Not for anyone else. I don’t even read my feedback most of the time. I just don’t care that much. I care about people. Don’t get me wrong. But I learned a long time ago how sensitive this community was and I knew I couldn’t do it. I would end up invariably pissing someone off and hurting their feelings. Not because I intended to at all. But because I don’t have a filter.

And because they read my writing and think they know me. ( I see this a lot. Someone writes something and they get told who they are) Which is a huge mistake. Sometimes I think we can paint any picture we want to on here and I’ve always been brutally honest , but to assume anything of anyone on here just seems premature. And I also know from personal experience that the biggest assholes can make themselebs look great on line. Hell, the worst woman I ever knew looked like a therapist who did yoga instruction on the side. She made herself look so healthy and kind and generous and in real life she was the closest I ever came to evil, full of envy and malice.

Plus it’s just always been hard for me to take things real serious. That aren’t serious. There are important things in the world and my interaction on medium isn’t one of them. For me. I’ve gotten in little spats I guess on medium. But I’ve never walked away with a resentment. Ever. Or walked away with a “I hate that person so much.”

I’ve just walked away and thought it was cool.

I admit I do have my hot button that I can’t laugh at.. Yet. But when I put it on medium, I have to not be that important . I can’t be. Because the more important I think I am, the more offended and hurt I will be.

But the reality is. Posting on medium isn’t gonna give you a black eye. I mean what are we really afraid of here? Being embarrassed?

Today I read a little fight two people had. I was reading the comments and I was thinking wow. This guy must have said something so bad to this lady. I finally found the original comment and I couldn’t believe the shit had hit the fan Over it. It was a joke. Literally. A joke. But man, this lady acted like he had character assassinated her. It was bizarre.

I wrote something about a bottom of mine. ( very personal) And someone commented on my spelling error. ( I suck at spelling) and I remember just laughing. It was perfect because I do suck at spelling.

But I also don’t put things on medium that I am not comfortable with .. Totally comfortable with. I tell medium what I want it to know. What I am ok with getting judged and shit on.

I read these articles and honestly I’ve never seen a real Troll on Medium. Ever. I’ve seen people with different opinions , being pedantic and sardonic and sarcastic but never a troll .

Trolls are basically like internet rapists. They are hard to miss.

I don’t get it. I don’t get what all the fuss is about. Or the fear or the threat.

It’s nothing , medium is so meaningless. These people , they aren’t gonna knock on your door and shoot you. They quit typing and never think of you again. None of us do. I think. Even if you did get a stalker , what can they do? Reality is so much different than in our heads.

I mean when was the last time you thought of anyone on here when you weren’t on here? Ever? Other people are exactly like us. They are not sitting around worried about how they feel about you, they’re worried about them. Thinking of them.

Sometimes I wonder if people have a life outside medium. People act like this is their neighborhood. ( not you. ) I see this hyper focus on medium and people on it.. Every time I am on here.

I mean this conversation would make perfect sense or a lot more if we were all standing around on our street talking about the asshole that just moved in. Or if we lived in a high crime area.

Idk.. I love your writing and none of this was directed at you. I see it everywhere . I really do. It’s all over medium .

I just can’t be that important. I mean like I know I’m not that important .

“ No one cares Gummo. No one cares.”

What’s all the fuss about? Don’t get it.

Maybe I’m not on here enough and I’ve managed to miss the most evil Internet personality known to man. But I just have not seen anything yet that can even be considered vicious.

In fact the meanest things I’ve seen have been in the dog piles, the responses to people that have been marked antagonizers.

I wish people would link the original articles or just put them on blast.

At least it’s entertaining !

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