“What’s The Worst Thing You’ve Seen In The ER?”
Ellie Guzman

I vividly remember my first three months on the trauma team in the ER … I remember the Trauma Surgeon who looked at me in the middle of a code and said

“It’s so nice to see people with feelings still.”

I think he had a crush on me.

I couldn’t help it .. I would cry, sometimes.

I remember one of the nurses.

“ Just . Leave.”

Those three months were hard… but then something happens and you just get acclimated to it. You realize the only thing you can do is your job. That’s how you help, how you heal. Is by staying calm and getting shit done as correctly and quickly as possible.

Every day was exciting. Never boring. Just imagine having the worst of society brought to your doorstep every day.

One such day, I will always remember the stink.

It stunk up the entire ER, and permeated the entire lab, with this putrid , acrid smell that made the back of your throat scratch.

In the ER, the X-rays were up.

The X-ray of the lower half of a man’s body, with a large white shadow tilted towards the spine, a rotten cucumber , it turned out, a rotten cucumber that a week before had been swallowed up by the mans anus during some adventurous sexual play, and gotten stuck. The rotten cucumber, when pulled out of the mans ass , along with all of the excrement behind it, had created this amazing smell.

Just one of the amazing stories of the ER.

All true.

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