Nice article. I enjoyed it. I appreciate your opinion too.
So as I was reading it I was flooded with opinions which is always awesome. That’s what a good article does!
But I tend to disagree with a few things you said.
First of all, I love it when powerful women share their opinions. Everyone comes from a different space. In the diversity is knowledge. We get to pick what makes sense and what doesn’t . But I really don’t like this culture that tells other women to “fuck off” and tries to attack their being for having one that isn’t yours. Here we are talking about rape culture and objectifying women, yet I find the vitriol directed at her by other women over this , far more damaging than anything she said.
I assume you are young. That is NOT an insult, I love your moxie , your bravery for standing up and speaking out loud and I love your anger- I even get it. But a lot of times when we are young we don’t even know what we are missing to hear it.
When you are young , you’re not yet fully aware of the differences between men and women. You have no idea how sexual men are, or how different their brains are. No one has told you that when boys are in high school, they think of nothing but sex. Pretty much all day. That when you hugged your good guy “ friends” they didn’t care at all about much except your tits, squashed up against their chest.
There is a biological difference in men. They have much much more of this hormone called testosterone .
Ever heard of blood lust? That’s a real biological reaction that men have from that hormone. After they kill, they wanna fuck. That’s why there is so much rape in war. It’s uncontrollable in some men to a degree.
The other thing , that you don’t recognize, is that there is some value in not dressing provocatively. Sure, you can wear nipple stickers and mini skirts and no one gets to rape you. That’s a given. But you’re an idiot if you don’t think that you’re going to be objectified by a lot of idiots.
Sure, dress like that. And get a lot of attention from men that you probably don’t want.
The thing that I also find ironic with this rape culture thing-
See my dad taught me to fight. Literally. If a man touched my body without permission, he told me if I didn’t hit them. I would be in trouble. He made standing up for myself the priority.
One time he saw my brother getting picked on at the bus stop. That night my brother got a whipping and the next day , he drove us to the bus stop and waited in his car , and made my brother get out and fight that kid.
I’m telling you this because through the cacophony of rape culture and victim blaming and forcing this idea that women are not in any way responsible for being raped, that a woman has a right to make the dumbest decisions and not be responsible for the consequences culture —
And yes. Rape is a crime.
We forgot logic.
What other crime do we not try to prevent?
Women and men are told all the time — don’t walk alone at night, in this part of town. When we travel to new countries we read the travel advisories telling us what crime is most prevalent there and how to be safest and most preventive. We go to self defense classes and attend seminars on crime reduction and prevention.
Only rape has a stigma of absolutely no responsibility. That the victim has no choice in that, before or after. That’s just not true. We do have a choice what we do before we are raped. Sure some rapes are stranger rapes and absolutely violent and there was nothing we could have done to prevent that. But it’s straight not healthy to promote this idea that woman should keep making poor choices and blame everyone else for what happens.
It’s not responsible to get wasted and pass out at a strangers house. It’s not responsible to leave the keys in your car either. Sure we know that both people victimized could have prevented it- or wait. You’re telling me one couldn’t have.
Doesn’t make sense because it’s just not true.
That doesn’t make the rape any less of a crime.
Women need to be more accountable and responsible for themselves , they also need to stop being damsels in distress relying on men to save them or not hurt them. Human beings are one thing. Human. Know what that means? That means they will hurt you. If you don’t know that, you’re living in a dream world that will never exist in real time.
It’s also ironic that we complain about men objectifying us but in the same breath, promote women doing the things that get them objectified.
Sure. I guess it is true that not all men are going to think you look great in your mini skirt and over the knee boots and boob job hanging out. Only the assholes will. Which is even more of a mind fuck. Why do it to yourself?
Were never gonna change the world. Ever. Assholes will always objectify women. The men you actually want to talk to, won’t find anything impressive with a women who dresses like a stripper. Ever. Why? That’s a whole other conversation, but maybe one day you will meet a guy who will tell you the truth and they can tell you themselves.
That’s the other thing that is missing from so much of this dialogue. Women talk to each other and ignore the men.
Bullshit. You actually need to be sitting down with men you respect that will tell you the harsh truth about men. Believe me, it’s a whole new world when that happens. Not a nice one.
So. Those are my thoughts.
I hope I didn’t offend you. I just wanted to share my experience with you, and give my two cents because it was a great article!!!!