Am I racist?
Ken Creary

This was such a great response.. Thank you so much.

You’re absolutely right. You pointed out some great things , and made mine invalid… which they were ..big generalizations . Which can be dangerous with such an important topic, and too easy.

My experience has just been so different than yours.. I’ve never met anyone who thought racism was a good thing ( except for some experiences in the south) or that was racist.

I really really enjoyed this. Thank you so much for sharing with me.

I’m noticed that you pointed out that the experiences lately, with both media and on line and of course , the Trump campaign ( I’m assuming ) have proved to you that we haven’t gone as far as I thought.

The Trump Campaign was really awful for me too. Personally I don’t think trump is actually a racist, but it’s his crowds that have shocked me. But I also know that the media will exacerbate what’s there , put it under a microscope and make it seem like it’s everywhere. It’s so easy to buy it too..

Sometimes I wonder though , if this recent surge of “racism” or more hatred and anger directed at other races, is partly ( not fully) due to white people feeling that no matter what they do, they will be seen as racists, and also because we have lost our balance, perspective .

For example the coverage of the police shootings. We were made to believe that white police officers are hunting down black men and killing them, but the actual stats haven’t changed much at all in the past ten years and the actual numbers don’t show that at all. You have more of a chance at winning the lottery than by getting killed by a police officer, and even less of that chance if you’re not armed. And white people more than double blacks and all other races for arrest related deaths .. Triple.

So there is this rage and these protests and also this inability to remain rational after we hear someone was shot by police. The automatic assumption is that it was murder and it was a white cop. Intentionally doing it.

I’m not denying there is a police issue. There has been for a long time. I’m just saying it happens to everyone, no matter what color you are. And I think due process is important . Innocent till proven guilty.. All that. Ferguson was a prime example.

The towns are looted, riots , freeways blocked and oops. All the evidence points to the cop was telling the truth.

I think that a race war was created , for us. That wasn’t really going on. At least , from my perspective . I think we have a class war going on. For sure. And that’s what everyone doesn’t want to see. Or want us to see.

I think we all have painful experiences. All of us. For all different things. This is stupid but I’ve often been called a Witch. In a derogatory manner. It used to bother me a lot. Before I knew that there were even people that actually called themselves witches.. I get called that for certain reasons. Reasons about the way I look, the way I carry myself , and just mild coincidences that happened around me.

My brother was picked on, horribly. Through out high school because he was smart and skipped grades in elementary school and was always smaller.

I have read a few articles on medium, that were sad. One I remember about a kid that got kicked out of a slumber party. For being black.

But most of the pieces I read or complaints I see of “racism” to me, don’t really qualify as such.. Because for example , being the only black person at your work. You can’t say that’s racism. Obviously you have to apply to jobs , and if they hired someone black, that means that they are.

What about when someone asks you what nationality you are? Without being insulting . How is that racism? Or microagression? Because you want to be considered an American? Things like that.

I think too, there is a resentment with Americans in general right now. We are overworked and severely underpaid. We are the hardest working people on the planet with the least to show for it. Our kids are getting the crappiest education and food. We take no vacations and the price of living just keeps going up. Shit. America is the only country in the world that doesn’t offer free health care. We are also the only country in the world with the amount of maternity leave that we have.. Except for Papua New Guinea. Seriously.

So we are pissed off. The country is going down the shitter.

Look at the other countries who make as much money as we do. For their slightly higher tax rate, they get free child care, healthcare, college, Internet, paid enough to work only one job and be able to retire from that job — whether it be as a clerk or a lawyer. They get housing , that’s comfortable and safe. Food vouchers. They get at least minimum one full month of vacation , and some places give up to five years of paid maternity leave , but most at least or minimum one year. They get organic food. Their kids get gourmet school lunches and no homework , twenty hour school weeks . Their work week is 30 hours and Lunch break is two.

So we are mad anyways. But most Americans don’t even know why. They are screaming for no free health care and no increase in min wage! No free college ! We want to pay for it.

Could you imagine what would happen if college were free? Just that. Would revolutionize this country.

Those same people see the immigrants or illegals come over and they make a lot of assumptions and decide they’re taking all of the benefits and money !! ( welfare is 4% of the budget ) Why do they get free stuff and we have to work so hard. New laws are tucked into every legislative proposal for companies to expand their foreign work force. We Are losing our jobs to foreign workers. We are also getting paid less .. All across the board , salaries are going down and the price of living? Just going up. But we are getting paid less because when someone in India or Mexico will work for $4 an hour for the same job as an American at $25 an hour? Who are you gonna hire ? When you don’t need to hire Americans what happens?

Sure I will give you a job, but only for $10 an hour. Cuz I don’t need you, but you need me.

And that’s just one thing , one direction America has allowed itself to go, but we are all unhappy. Most of the reason why is political greed and corruption that’s as old and true as the flag herself.

We want to scream at someone. Right now especially .

And if you’re screaming at us.

There has been a lot of screaming lately …

From personal experience , I admit. When I hear some of the screams , I get mad too. Because they are not rational, or don’t make sense. For example Ferguson .. I know I know but it’s a great example. And it set this country on fire.

And just many other reasons. Like if you stop my morning traffic that’s going to piss me off. Period.

If you’re screaming over something you don’t know to be true though, that will try my patience too.

I haven’t yet heard of a minority experience with cops that I either haven’t experienced or someone white hasn’t . The shootings? I have several even worse white police shootings .

No one heard about the pregnant mother of three who was unarmed and shot and killed and no cop was even suspended for example.

Or the white guy watering his lawn. The cops thought the hose was a gun.

So it happens to all of us. All the time. Actually compared to 300 million people , it doesn’t. But one time is too many. I get that.

I just want us to get better and start seeing what’s really there… if it’s here, I’m so down to fight till my knuckles are bare.

But I also don’t want to be thrown in a bucket of fish because I swim.

It’s also everywhere this white , oppressive, racist man over lord thing… it just gets a little over the top. ( The feminists too. At least for me. The whole feminist movement is another great example. I don’t feel oppressed as a woman in America. At all. But supposedly there is a terrible problem of sexism im America. My lack of experience with sexism I think is a direct result of my self esteem and self worth. I’ve read articles about men opening doors for women and that being a sexist, oppressive white male priledge thing . That’s exactly what is making people mad. It’s that kind of thing. At a certain point people are like “ fuck it. What can I do if everything I do is wrong ?” I think that’s happening a little with white america , at this point ) and frankly I don’t see it the same way. In fact, we have a black president right now. And our government is the largest minority hiring agency in this country. So it’s even more ironic.

I’m not saying it isn’t there. If you say you’ve experienced first hand racism , I believe you. 100%. But to have one or two experiences out of your entire life and say that racism is alive and well, that’s not exactly rational either ..

I’ve had one or two experiences that were a lot like racism too. My brothers when they drove through the south, with tattoos all up and down their arms … they thought they were going to get killed at one point in Arkansas… and they’re white.

I’m not sure if I’m explaining myself well. I always get called a racist and that’s so not my intention. I’m truly just trying to have a dialogue with a thinking person ..

We won’t solve the problems anyways, I’m afraid. I so wish we could.

I really just wanted to honor the bravery that comes with being honest. That’s what we need more of. We need to uncover these resentments and fear and find out what we are even mad at to begin with.. What’s really going on… you know?

The government has been leading us astray in many ways for a long time. When they start a fire over here, they drop a bomb over there. Their greed is at the root of so many cultural problems we see today. That bleed in so many different directions too.

Thank you again for your wonderful response. I really enjoyed it. You’re a great writer .

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