One good thing that came out of Trump’s comments about women for me, was what I found out about men today
I don’t really like to write about my present personal life, or the players in it.
I have several reasons for that, number one being their privacy.
But , today I’m going to.
So by now, we’ve all heard Trump's comments on the bus.
For me, it wasn’t shocking, or a surprise. Not him saying it, or what he said.
Sadly , I think he isn’t the only male celebrity that feels that way. I say this with some experience.
No, I don’t know all male celebrities. I have known and know some.
Every time I hear about a celebrity being accused of rape, I believe it, 100%. I know that’s not fair and I promise to never serve on a jury. I believe it for one reason.
I’ve seen it.
Yes, Ive actually seen celebrities become so entitled to sex that they aren’t even aware that they have become sexual perpetrators..
One of those incidents involved a close friend of mine, I had known since middle school. It was also my fault she was in the situation to begin with ( my boyfriend at the time made the introduction) so it’s seared into my memory banks.
Trump’s comments weren’t a surprise for me. I’ve seen the entitlement more than once ..
I think I’m probably a lot like many other women who just assumed that men talk that way.. that they all talk about women like that, when they’re alone with each other. Locker room talk. Even one of the people that came to Trump’s defense released a statement using that assumption against us -
“ All men talk like that. At least, all normal men talk like that.”
I’m not even sure why I assumed that statement to be true. I think it might be a combination of media, entertainment and just how men are stigmatized. Or comments exactly like that one meant to excuse Trump, from his behavior. Maybe because men have been lewd with me and my friends on occasion.
So today , I am talking with my husband and I ask him if he thinks Trump is ruined. It comes out that I think all men talk like that , and act like that.
My husband works in the entertainment industry.
He has met and knows quite a few men , celebrities and normal people. He has been around the proverbial block, so to speak.
But I was so blown away today, when he looked at me like I turned purple and shocked and repulsed told me,
“ Are you kidding? No. Not all men talk like that. No normal guy talks like that about women. Sure all teenager guys talk like that. But then you turn 21 and you make choices. I never talk like that. My close friends never talk like that. My dad never talked like that. I think its these guys, they never got any women to begin with. And some of them grow up and get famous or get money , and women sleep with them because of that, those guys talk like that. Or just dirt bags talk like that. But no, that’s not at all true. Trump is a dirt bag. If I was around a guy and he talked like that, I would think , “ what an asshat.” Especially because Trump had just gotten married at that point. No, not all men talk like that. Only the sleaze bags do. Only guys who cant get laid do. Or get laid because they are famous or rich.. and know it..assholes. Assholes talk like that.”
Ok… so that’s an exact quote and it’s unfiltered… a husband talking to his wife.. but I was shocked.
He went on to explain in detail how absurd Trump's comments were and how we shouldn’t tolerate or excuse them at all. For any reason. Least of all because he is a man.
I was biased.
I really thought all men talked like that to each other.
It got me to thinking how stigmatized men are.. how we just assume they are all sexist pigs to some degree, because they are men. And a man, can’t not be crude, or lewd. Or sexist. To some degree, or when women aren’t there.
Or because I experienced some men like that, I throw them all in a box. When really , what I need to do is realize that when a man acts like that, or talks like that, we need to single him out. He is the asshole. The minority.
I’m ashamed of myself. Truly.
We need to start giving men a break. They are not what we think they are.
Sure, some guys are. But isn’t it good to know those guys that do talk like that, those guys that do act like that, are just as slimy and gross to most men as they are to us?
It was a very cool wake up call.
We hate being stigmatized, we hate it when people assume anything of us. But we do it all the time to men. All the time.