The Ultimate Guide To Being An Introvert
James Altucher

Whenever I read your stuff, it’s more like reading my inner monologue.

I can always relate , pretty much exactly .

I don’t read your stuff enough.

I read one of your articles for the first time a long time ago, and commented and was just so stoked on it , but I had no idea who you are. I still don’t. I mean , I didn’t know anything about you. Or what you’ve done- i still don’t actually, but I’ve gathered now that you’re “somebody”…haha, whatever that means.

Or at least — I think so?

But nevertheless , I just love what you put down.

I think, the “comfort zone” that has become so famous now, got lost along the way- as so much does.

People never consider that our emotional or mental selves figure into the equation with life. Or that there is an emotional and mental comfort zone directly attached to these “out of your comfort zone” things we do. We tend to think of it as new stuff. Do new stuff.

Which is ironic, given that our emotions and thoughts have everything to do with our life. People really think life is about what they do, who they know, what they look like. Partly true. But who we are , on the inside, what we feel and therefore think is everything we are… it’s the foundation of all that other stuff , that’s sort of like a secondary self.

But that is also exactly what it means.

Open yourself up to new ideas. You bring up a great point , always, to find the truth in you.

Say something honest , that you would never dream of saying . Do something honest that you would never dream of doing . Let go of an idea about someone or something . Let go of all preconceived ideas. Preconceived feelings. They’re all lies.

Sometimes letting go, is the most uncomfortable thing a person can do.

Live, basically. Live free.

I mean people hold on to their ideas and feelings like they’re worth money. And it is so toxic to do that. It keeps us in a rut. Instead of moving completely away from who we are in a moment, we stay there for years.

Now some people can see that and understand that statement — that almost everything that they feel passionately about is a lie. Some people can’t.

All of our belief systems are based on a collection of experiences and past interactions and feelings and judgements and resentments and ego based fears, take these things and box em up for us. Wrap them all up with a bow. Real simple like. In one sentence or less. And they become who we are. Forever and ever.

( is it weird that I think of opinions about life and people as an assembly line, where each opinion gets put in a pretty box, with a prettier bow, stamped and put away in a huge room with endless shelves and even more boxes ?)

They are basically just defense mechanisms. Fears. Resentments. Wrapped up as personal morality. Or “personality”.

They don’t serve anyone , especially not us. All they do, is stop us from seeing what really is. From being able to be humble. From knowing more. From experiencing things anew. We just experience things over again. And over again- emotionally. Same feelings, just different situations.

You can’t fill a cup that is already full.

I’ve found that there are so many more emotions to the known human emotional spectrum- I mean , for me, each new experience brings with it new emotions… which is fucking rad and definitely out of a known comfort zone. Because I make a concerted effort to kill those belief systems, to not be trapped.

To let go of feelings and opinions like I am taking out the trash.

Once you realize the ultimate truth, that nothing is true, it gets easier.

So yeah… just wanted to sort of caveat off of that “comfort zone” thing… how easy ( or not) it is to get out of.

I find emotional risks totally outweigh them all..

When we put ourselves out there . Risk ourselves . To be humbled.

That is also when we receive the biggest rewards- emotionally.

And no this isn’t a passive aggressive take on the introvert / extrovert thing. I completely agree with you…

I’ve really wrestled with identifying … I read this article actually a long time ago about a woman who was raised by two intellectual introverts and it changed my life. It dawned on me I am an introvert — it was a huge epiphany for me. Everything made sense and I had the biggest weight lifted — because one thing about being an introvert is that everyone , your entire life, is giving you shit about being who you are.

I mean really because I hate going to my kids social activities , soccer games and gymnastics practices — it’s like peeling my skin.

I just can’t relate to the parents that are there in school colors. Or go to open house night.

I’ve never been to one.

I might as well be cooking standing in a big skillet- that’s how it feels to me.

Hate clubs too, and bars. I love to dance though- so I have to go to salsa bars to get to dance- but I am not a talker , dancer only.

But the weird thing about me is that I love being with my tribe.

Tribe as in , my people.

I tend to get so close to my friends they stop being my friends and become family — we argue and throw plates at each other and still laugh the next day .. well, not the plates part ( we hate temper tantrums) but you know what I mean. We let it all hang out with each other … no lies.

I think one of the best times in my life was when I was living in a big fat Victorian house and there was usually never less than 6 people over. One of my artist friends even moved in under my stairs- not kidding. There was a whole secret room under there …

But it’s with people that I can be totally myself with, ( or hitchhikers and homeless people I picked up that end up living with me for months ( I like to help women get back on their feet ) and they with me. As long as I can be exactly who I am , in every moment and there is no fucking pretense- I am happiest and most complete around these friends of mine. It is a great feeling to have a tribe … to have 15 people that love each other completely and let each other be exactly who they are. There is nothing better. And they never exhaust me. Ever. Because I am not putting on the show, the tap dance.

That most of us are at all times.

But take me away from those people and put me at my kids soccer game?

I want to kill my self.

Am I half introvert ?

Fuck it.

Who knows.

Thanks for the great read , once again.

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