Scared

I am honestly terrified about what is happening to me / what is going to happen to me… I can’t take any pain relief (it just causes even more pain), my symptoms just keep getting worse.. nothing is working. I have been waiting for appointments for months (technically years) and I’m just getting thinner m more exhausted and sicker by the day. Other than the obvious pain and hell this is causing me, I can’t bear to see what it is doing to my partner, having to watch me waste away and in so much pain all the time.

I don’t know how sick I have to become before they help me and I’m not excited to find out. I’m worried it’ll be too late.

I hate posting things like this, I want to have ‘faith’ and be positive but I just feel like I’m dying a very slow death and have no idea what to do about it, I’m just stuck in my bed or my wheelchair… hoping they’ll find something or listen to me this time. Hoping that my appointments come through the door, hoping that I stop getting worse.

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