That Kid
It’s the kid that walks incredibly slow in front of you on the path to class…the one that chews with his mouth open while holding a conversation with you…the one that yells at his friends from his third-floor window of the quad…the one that tries to be teacher’s pet but even the teacher hates him…
I am the type of person that is easily annoyed; the kind of person that pays little mind to “these” kids.
When I say kid, I am generalizing. It could be a girl, boy, man, woman, you name it.
Honestly, anyone can earn him or herself the label of “that” kid.
For me, it only takes seeing someone text in class while I sit there on my phone for me to write them off — I know, I’m a hypocrite.
The stage is set: freshman philosophy class.
Enter stage left: me.
The chatter amongst the youngins sitting at their desks, unpacking like they are preparing for Armageddon, is centered around the fact that our teacher has yet to announce the topic of our paper despite the fact that it is due in exactly one week; three girls in the corner are also starting a mass panic about the fact that we have a test in two days.
I have come to learn that our professors are not always timely when it comes to assigning work. They expect us to complete a 5-page paper in less than a week while at the same time juggling tests, homework, reading, and actual balls.
Because I have learned to roll with the punches my professors seem to enjoy throwing, it baffled me to hear the freshies crying about it…then again, I guess they haven’t exactly learned much about what college entails with less than a semester under their belts, but it still bothered me…I’m an asshole.
When Friday rolls around and your friends ask you to join them in their adventures for the evening, don’t be “that” kid…you definitely don’t have too much homework.
Write your paper tomorrow…or the next day for that matter.
Procrastination is a student’s best friend in my opinion; nothing gets me working faster than the reality of having two tests and four million papers due over the course of the next few days.
Despite the fact that what I have just depicted is only one example of “that” kid, it’s impossible to paint an accurate portrayal of every type of kid I could imagine labeling as “that” kid.
There are simply too many.
For the most part, you know them when you see them.
With that kept in mind, I would like to introduce you to my next favorite example of “that” kid.
If you wear salmon colored shorts one day, you are “that” kid.
Snapback? “That” kid.
Sperry’s? “That” kid.
Quarter zip, preferably of the Vineyard Vines variety? “That” kid.
If it isn’t clear by now, I am referring to the infamous frat bros on campus.
Now, my favorite thing about “these” kids is the fact that they are blissfully unaware of their doucheyness. They walk in packs of at least three across campus, hands in pockets, with a cocky swagger you sometimes mistake for a limp as they obnoxiously holler at all of their friends. If it happens to be a nice day, they can be found throwing a football across the quad.
Common courtesy dictates that when mobs of students are walking through, they would pause their little game; but it is at this point that things start heating up.
Are they gonna catch it?
Why is he catching it with his foot?
Since when is that how football works?
Is today going to be the day I get a concussion?
Why is your friend standing 100 yards away when I know for a fact you can only throw it 50?
These are the kids that if we didn’t have open container laws I could almost guarantee would have a natty in each hand. All they talk about is partying and girls and more often than not they can be spotted walking to or from the business school. As soon as it gets cold, they can be seen flaunting a pair of Timbs that are just scuffed enough to make onlookers believe they actually do something other than drink and party. If you enjoy country music, you might be a frat bro. If you enjoy whining about the fact that you have homework in every single one of your classes, first of all shut up…second of all, you might be the most hated kid in your class.
Like I said earlier, there is not one specific kid that fits the mold of “that” kid — it is all in the eyes of the beholder. Or is that beauty…?
In the end, i think it is clear that we all have the potential to be “that” kid to someone. So fuck what everyone else thinks and live your life.
