Have you ever failed? Been at the point where everything you wanted to achieve just didn’t work out? When the world seemed to be falling apart?I think we’ve all been there. It’s frustrating. And scary. We start developing a fear of failure to avoid it. We don’t want it to happen again. And that, is the worst thing we could do…
What does failure mean to you?
The dictionary puts it into three simple words: lack of success.
My mom says, it’s not accomplishing what you’ve set out to do.
A teacher once said, failure should not repeat itself, it’s not good.
Your opinion might be something along those lines. But by the end of this article, your perception of failure might have changed…
Why the bubble of fear is dangerous
No matter which definition of failure is most suitable for you, you are probably not a big fan of it.
We hide from it. We don’t want to face it.
We are afraid.
Many of us start creating a little bubble of security, which protects us from failure.
In this bubble we don’t have to fear failure. We don’t have to fear anything.
Great thing, isn’t? Not really.
We get caught in our safe bubble and don’t dare to get out of it. We will be passing new opportunities and exciting adventures blinded by our bubble, getting lost in a boring routine.
Vincent Van Gogh asked: What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
Life would be pretty dull.
How to redefine failure and pop the bubble of fear
I’m pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say: I don’t want a dull life. There are certain things we can do to live our life to its fullest and not let fear take control of it.
1. Change your perspective
What if failure was not as bad as we think it was? Instead of putting of failure as something negative, we can turn it around into something positive. It gives us the opportunity to learn and use the experience. It opens the door to new possibilities and, sometimes, brings us to completely new places, more wonderful than we could’ve ever imagined.
2. Realise that failure is temporary
Things go wrong. It sucks. But life goes on. Failure is not a description of our whole life, we must keep in mind that failure is just temporary. The moment we realise something didn’t work out the way we wanted it to, we have two options — either we let it bring us down which will make failure feel like an eternity, or we focus on the new opportunities arising from this small moment of failure instead.
3. Facing fear
I think we’re on the same page now — failure is not all bad. And yet, sometimes the fear of failure creeps up on us. Especially, when we seem to be drowning in an overwhelming load of work: We start imagining consequences and end up finding ourselves in the worst case scenario. Let’s take a step back: They are only thoughts. It’s all in our head. Fears are possibilities of the future that we cannot predict. We’re not magicians so instead of creating a future that is not there, let’s face the fear and realise it is our choice how to act upon it.
4. Make it simple
Let’s take a closer look at the overwhelming work load that just screams failure right into our faces. It’s time to make a list. What has got priority? What can wait? Can someone help us? Let’s not give the fear of failure the power to control us, leaving us with nothing but stress and anxiety. It can be so simple.
5. Take some time out
When you can hear fear sneaking up slowly and stress is banging on your front door, leave before it all gets in. Hop out the window and go to your happy place — free your mind. No matter where in the world I am, my happy place is the beach. The ocean reminds me of the important things and I remember that nothing in life is constant. Not stress, not fear, not failure. When I hear the waves crashing, I always smile — I remember that stress is self created, but so is calmness. It’s all a matter of choice and perspective.
The fear of failure can often hold us back. Just the thought of not achieving our goals or meeting expectations, scares us so much that we don’t even try. We stay in our dangerous, safe bubble.
Let’s be courages. Let’s pop the bubble and face our fears. Let’s learn to love failure.
Because, what would life be if we had the courage to attempt anything?
Share your thoughts on failure — what does it mean to you? Has the fear of failure ever held you back? What did you do to overcome the fear of failure?
Dare to inspire. Allison xx
