Announcing Another Unfortunate Theatre Season

Mar 21, 2018 · 3 min read

Man of Green Gables: It’s Anne of Green Gables, but a man! (He’s nothing like Anne. He’s more like…IDK, Ryan Gosling? He available?)

Stephen King’s Maximum Overdrive: The Musical

An Immersive Box Office Experience (pay us $75 to run our box office for us. we are severely understaffed. $150 VIP tickets if you’d also like to clean the urinals.)

But It’s Ironic Misogyny, Ugh, You Don’t Get It: A Tirade

A One Person Show That’s Just An Actor Talking About All The Shows They Didn’t Audition For That They Would Have Been, Like, Amazing In, Ya Know?

Death Of A Salesman (in space!)

A minimalist production of Noises Off! — everyone wears black turtlenecks and stands on blocks. THERE IS NO SET, OKAY, THE SET BUDGET IS OUT THE WINDOW. STOP ASKING ABOUT THE SET. DEATH OF A SALESMAN IN SPACE IS VERY EXPENSIVE.

A Show With Very Difficult Choreography And A Cast Of First Time Dancers

A One Woman Two Ukulele Musical About Christopher Walken, Called “These Ukes Are Made For Walken”

Cats, starring dogs!

The Ceiling Is Leaking (A Fundraiser!)

A Movement Piece That, When Asked What It Means, The Director Says “Sorry, You’re Cutting Out! Can’t Hear You! Gotta Go!” And Runs Out Into The Night Forever

Just a podcast recording of 3 guys getting drunk and acting like that’s inherently interesting regardless of subject matter

Improvised Fiddler On The _________

Can’t Get The Rights To Hamilton So We’re Just Going To Read Ron Chernow’s Book Out Loud On Stage Hoo Boy It’s Gonna Be A Long Night

Fat Pig

A List Of All The Grants We Didn’t Receive (Champagne reception to follow!)

3 Hours Of The Entire Cast Arguing About Where To Go For The After Party, And Ultimately Deciding To Go Home, Then 3 Months Of Suggesting They Should Really Get Together Again, Then 70 Years Of Aging, Then Death

Improvised Fight Choreography: A Lawsuit

Thoroughly Modern Billy Bush

Whichever Show Contains That “I ate the divorce papers! I ate them!” Monologue Everyone Has Heard 400 Times

Hamlet (starring a donated ham. you’ll barely even notice the difference!)

Love’s Labour’s Lost but nobody memorized their lines

The Day The Clown Cried, Live!

A show where the stage managers are acting and the actors are stage managing and everyone is more miserable than they ever could have imagined

Chicago but with no music! (The Cell Block Tango is really more of a Cell Block Standing There)

Everybody Listening To The Advice The AD Claims He Once Received From Tony Kushner (Or Was It Just A Guy Who Looked Like Tony Kushner? He’s Not Sure Now.)

A Live Reading Of Our Most Recent Profit & Loss Statement: A Tragedy In 12 Acts

A workshop production of something Cindy found in the shredder and taped back together

A Christmas Carol (in space!)

The Ceiling Is Still Leaking, A Sequel

Allison Page

Written by

Writer/Actor/Director/Artistic Director @killingmylobstr / Terrible ideas are all my own.

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