Allison Page3 days ago2 min read
Things I’d Rather Do With The Tax Money I Owe
- Put it in a blender with some hot sauce and eat it while whimpering
- Origami chickens
- Roll it up so it’s all pointy and shove it in my eyes
- Set it alight and throw it into the sea
- Summon ghosts with a ouija board and offer them the cash to do fun tricks like possess me
- Tear it into tiny pieces and glue the pieces to my face like a beard
- Convert it into pennies and throw those pennies at my own head
- Shove it into my shoes, walk around all day, get huge blisters
- Groceries
- Rent
- Shampoo
- Rare books I won’t read but will just prop up against the wall for 40 years
- Hand it to a stranger on the sidewalk, look them in the eye, and say “Hey. Hey. Hey… Pay it forward, okay? I am a very good person.”
- Buy 200 pounds of tacos
- See if I can buy tickets to the restaurant from Hell’s Kitchen and sit real close to the cooking area and send everything back
- Buy grapes and step on them. Don’t turn them into wine, just step on them.
- World’s largest caesar salad
- San Francisco Rent
- San Francisco Rent
- San Francisco Rent
- San Francisco Rent
- San Francisco Rent
- San Francisco Rent
- Liquor
- Old timey typewriter
- San Francisco Rent
- Antique butt sculpture
- Hair extensions
- Food for other people ugh why do I always do this
- Plane ticket to see my family
- San Francisco Rent
- Stacks upon stacks of sandwiches
- Lipsticks palettes
- San Francisco Rent
- Ramen
- Julienne it, toss it in some marinara, pour it down my throat
- Make bow ties outta it
- Socks
