Best clickbait of the day. And it’s only 8:36 a.m.
SHIT! It’s 8:36 AM and I haven’t completed by THINGS YOU MUST DO BEFORE 8 AM WHILE VAPING AND GIVING YOURSELF A YOGHURT ENEMA THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW IN THESE 57 WAYS AND YOU’RE A LOSER UNLESS YOU GOT FIRED FROM A START-UP FOR BEING TOO INNOVATIVE FOR WORK.
Or something like that. Anyway, I’m going to eat a Girl Scout cookie because they came this morning, and then I am going to suck down my iced coffee. And when I’m done? I’m going to smoke a nice Newport Light 100.
Namaste, motherfuckers. Namaste.