The Mother Hen Style of Leadership
Do the best leaders have the most followers or do they have the most able successors?
“You treat your team like a real mother hen”.
Those were my manager’s words some years ago during a performance review. And yes, you’ve guessed it , he was not paying me a compliment.
I accepted the fact that he did not think much of my leadership style, but I also felt that I was doing a good job as a team leader and manager. My team was thriving, they were all productive, happy, won customer service awards and there was scarcely any turnover.
So what was wrong?
What is it that the image of a mother hen conjures up? What comes to mind when you hear someone being described as a mother hen?
I decided to have a look at some definitions.
The Collins dictionary said “if you describe someone as a mother hen, you think they are bossy and interfering “.
Me? Bossy and interfering? Yes, I have been described as “running a tight ship”. Is that the same as “bossy and interfering”? Are men ever called “bossy”? On the contrary; I have also been told that I consult my team too often before making decisions. Perhaps the Collins dictionary is not the right place to look for a definition.
Merriam Webster gave me “ a person who assumes an overly protective maternal attitude “ and “ a person who worries about, cares for, or watches over other people in a way that is annoying or unwanted “
Oxford dictionaries said it was “ A person who sees to the needs of others, especially in a fussy or interfering way.”
And wiktionary.org came up with “An outspoken and overprotective woman or person dealing with others’ affairs.”
All of these definitions were pretty negative.
I reflected on these definitions as well as my manager’s feedback for a while and came to the realisation that being a mother hen is not all bad. It was a part of my leadership style and something to be embraced and not rejected.
The more I thought about the meaning of being a “mother hen” the more I started to appreciate the positive aspects and the more I started to think that there was a place for a more feminine leadership style.
I am a firm believer in situational leadership and that good leaders will know when to change their style. They will also know when they need to step back and be a follower rather than a leader. The mother hen to me, is an excellent example of situational leadership.
Let me explain.
The protective mother hen
When the little chicks are newly hatched the mother hen provides warmth, shelter, security. The chicks will spend most of their time under her wings, hide there from danger and will not venture far from her. She will protect them and make sure they know where to find food and water.
Telling and Directing is required when the manager knows a lot more than the people on the team. The manager makes the decisions and informs others of this. It is very much a top down approach and employees have to do what they are told. It is often described as micromanagement. “Suitable for chicks just out of the shell and perhaps up to 5 days old”
As a leader or manager you may work with a group of young people straight out of school, and your leadership will be more directive. At this stage you may be seen as a little fussy and overprotective, but if you want the newcomers to the workforce to succeed, you need to provide them with the basic information and training they need. A leader is always responsible for the safety and wellbeing of their team. If your team does not trust you to look after their needs and ensure that they have the resources they need to do their jobs, then you are not a good leader.
Be there to provide safety and protection. Protect you team, take responsibility for them and don’t break their trust.
Provide essential emotional and physical security and reassurance without being overprotective
Allow them to mess up, but take responsibility
Draw the line between protection and overprotection
The coach and teacher
When your team is still learning, but have the basic skills and only lack confidence, you change to a more coaching style. Now you don’t show and tell, but give direct praise. Every time you praise someone for doing the right thing you enforce that behaviour. When the manager never days anything it is very hard for beginners to know whether they are doing the right things or not.
Show them how
Show them where
Allow them the freedom to explore with independence and the right amount of support
The leader is still very involved in the day to day work. Decisions are still made by the leader, but at least the team is asked for input. Employees are supervised in a coaching manner and this typically works well for those who are still learning. You need to give direct praise to increase their confidence and self-esteem.
As the little chicks grow they become more independent. You’ve shown then where the food and water is, they know how to scratch in the dirt, they are learning to perch and their confidence is growing along with their feathers.
As your team’s skills grow you can start giving them more responsibility. You get more input from them on direction. The leader is there to give praise, guidance and make the final decision.
Observe their strengths and abilities.
They trust you, trust them back.
Tell them “You can do it” and, “I believe in you”. Expect the best from them and they will show you their best.
By now the team members have taken on more responsibility. The leader provides directions, but the followers make the decisions and the leader is there to give support, feedback and praise to increase motivation. Employees have the skills but may lack confidence or motivation.
After some time you get to the stage where the leader can start delegating. The team now know their goals and what they want to achieve. The leader is only there for support and adding to the vision.
Sometimes the chicks will know way is best. Observe , follow as needed
Let them grow and go
Start to let go slowly. Increase challenges
Finally employees choose their own tasks, know their roles and require very little supervision. The leader still provides some feedback and direction.
Once you’ve taught them everything you know, you can sit back and watch with pride even as they fly the coop.
Let me ask you this: Have you ever seen a grown chicken huddling under a mother hen for protection? Anyone? Thought so.
When my manager called me into his office to tell me the I lead my team like a real mother hen he did not intend it to be a complement. I chose to embrace the mother hen style of leadership and I take pride in helping others grow and become confident and independent.
When I see my team grow into confident, independent, and competent individuals I know can puff out my chest and strut with pride.
Let go of the stereotypical mother hen and learn how to create leaders that may even be better than you are. It should be a source of pride and not anxiety if they end up outshining.
What is the leadership style that you embrace?
Is there a place for a more feminie style of leadership? Do men qualify to be mother hens?
I would love to hear what you think. Please add your comments below.
