I was never the handsome guy, nor the funniest.
But nevertheless I have always had good intentions. I never wanted to hurt anyone.
But that never stopped people from hurting me. I got so used to it that I decided that no one could hurt me I didn’t open up to anyone. I started to shut off from people I would just be cold and distant. I barely talked to anyone. I was alone. But it changed when I met her, I still remember how we met. I was in class with my headphones (first day of school) on listening to loud music I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Then I felt someone tapping my back, I ignored it in the beginning but it kept going for so long that it really irritated me so I turned around.
There she was smiling at me like we had been friends for ages. In my head there was only on thought: “what the hell do you want?” while looking back at her with serious face. She asked: “could I borrow a pen from you please?” with the most idiotic smile ever. And I said to her completely annoyed: “sure” I gave her the pen and then she asked: “what’s your name?” I asked why she wanted to know she told so she could say thank you when she gave it back. I told her: “don’t bother just keep it” and turned around immediately.
The following weeks I kept noticing that no matter where we sat she would keep looking at me. It really bothered me it made me feel uncomfortable and judged. I tried to ignore her glaring but I couldn’t so I went to her and asked her: “what is your problem? Why do always look at me? Do you have problem with me? Could just stop staring at me all the time please? Stop bothering me” She smiled. I left the classroom.
After a few days I was on my way the grocery store I don’t even remember what I needed anymore. And guess who I saw? She was working as cashier at the store. I wanted to avoid contact with her, but sadly the other cashiers were too occupied. I walked towards her with the things I went to buy. “Hi there how is it going?” I didn’t respond I simply put my stuff on the counter. “You know you don’t have to be rude”
“I’m fine you?” I whispered. She started talking about how today had been a rough day at work, and that there were a lot of customers. She even told me about how a couple came with their kid dressed as Pikachu and when the child started crying the dad gave him candy to kid calmed down, and the dad said: “it was super effective” for the first time’ in a long while I laughed, but nor for show, but because I meant it. “So you do have the ability to smile I started to think you were emotionless” she laughed.
We kept talking and laughing for a while we had to stop because people who were in the line started to get annoyed. “See you tomorrow at school” “I guess” I walked back home with the biggest grin on my face. The next day in school when I got in class she shouted: “you come her sit next to me” If felt really embarrassed after that first time it kind of became a regular thing for and her to sit next to each other and talk. Slowly we started doing school projects together and began going to the others person house. After a while I started to of her as more than just a friend but how could I tell her? She was the first and last thought of my day. I woke up wanting to make her smile and went to bed wanting her to be in my arms.
I wished I had super powers to know if she felt the same way. I wanted, no I needed to know. It took a lot of courage but the next Valentine day I took a piece of paper wrote on it: Go out with me please! And also bought some chocolate too, I’m not an animal. I waited patiently because I hid it her locker.
And so I waited to whole day and I didn’t get a response from her I didn’t see her until after school she as waiting for me. She came up to me with tear in her eyes saying: “what took you so long!?” 20 years later and putting that note in her locker was the best decision I have ever done in my life.