And your lack of honesty is exactly what I’m talking about when I say we can’t have honest dialog.
AJ Butler
16

Mr. Butler, I need to contribute because I think the “heat” underlying this exchange is triggering natural instincts of emotion from personal experiences, defensive attachment to positions; and difficulty accepting alternative perspectives. I read your original post and I thought there was validity to your points [By the way, I am a woman].

I also found the differing points just as valid. Overall, I think we need to acknowledge the various ways unjust, gender differences, play out . As pointed out, the system has been evolving closer to center. But, in the meantime, there are going to be injustices doled out by the system, based on gender. A quick, simple example is how women, so often, get paid less when holding the same work position as a man. We know this exists as a double standard phenomenon, in society. As a result, I think women need to be aware and diligent in their careers and actively promote appropriate, economic compensation. I think the same holds true for men in divorce, custody circumstances when our system tends to reflexively rule in favor of women/the mother. Similar to the first example, men/the father needs to be diligent and advocate for system determinations that acknowledge the equal importance of fathers as caregivers.

Does this sound too simplistic? I am trying to consider all the different contexts in life where there is a double standard, for both men and women. Overall, were left with how we are going to navigate through this.

Ultimately, it becomes a circumstance of an individual (male or female) taking personal responsibility for how they will confront and problem solve through such systemic imbalance.

Thanks for listening,

Aly