The Overlook of Emotional Abuse in Children
My journey has brought me to, and through, many mile markers; from this I have become more convinced that abuse escalates in it’s level of severity due to the simple fact that the initial signs are written off as “not really and issue” or “that’s just his/her parenting style” or the worst of all, “you’re just a kid and you don’t really have any rights, you just have to deal with how your parents decide to treat you.”
Are you kidding me?
Abuse is much more than physical or sexual; and those are serious forms of abuse as well. Here is the thing about abuse, it has to have a starting point before it escalates. The speed of the abusers escalation is dependent on the abuser, and what they can get away with.
One of the biggest issues when dealing with ending abuse is convincing “those in power” that the abuse is actually taking place. When a child is facing emotional or psychological abuse and they are told by an individual in a position of authority that they have “seen worse” or that “it’s not as bad as you think it is,” it proves how depraved the system is, and how depraved we as human beings are. It is my belief that the overlooking of abuse is a sanctity of life issue; and we are failing to see the damage our ignorance causes; especially those who don’t have to live it, or watch a loved one live it.
Don’t wait until it happens to you or someone you love to start being a voice for those facing this demon. Choose to be an advocate for those who are not allowed to advocate for themselves. Choose to be an advocate for those who tearfully sit as someone who is supposed to protect them just reaffirms that the abuse is “no big deal”. It is not surprising to me why anti-depressant use is on the rise; it is not surprising to me why suicide is on the rise. It is not surprising to me that an abusive situation allowed to continue breeds people who do not value themselves and they life they have been blessed with.
It’s time “the system” reassess their approach on this topic. Yes, people are going to use this in the wrong way, and that is what the courts are trying to avoid; but in the process they remove the protection from the people who really need it by assuming that everyone is lying. Why is the mentality “innocent until proven guilty” allowed for everything else except for abuse victims? Abuse victims who don’t show bruising and wounds visible to the human eye are labeled “lairs until proven otherwise”. How is that logical?
I am a survivor of domestic violence; I am labeled a liar by my former abuser. I am aware of the escalation process and how the first and most serious signs are emotional and psychological abuse. They are also the most disregarded signs. Mine started with emotional and psychological abuse, and worked its way through the different levels of abuse until being hit, strangled, and suffocated was a way of life. I have and am watching others suffer this same pattern; and until there are bruises, no one gives a damn.
It is time for a change.