My Mull Over

My first post on medium. Mmmmnh, so I’m a writer, future tense. I always have been, and a composer, and a logophile poet. All this in future possible tense. I write books, tons of books on my mind but I can’t seem to put them down on paper. Okay, so I want to write. I want to put those stuff down. I want to pen down those thoughts that almost blast my mind but sometimes I just get so, blank. 
So this is my first on medium. It’s almost two months since a friend, whom I’ve never seen (actually most of them I never see) introduced medium to me. Since then not a day has gone by without the thought of posting something, anything, haunting me. I get notifications of people I follow, daily digests and trending posts in my inbox and I fume with jealousy. Why haven’t I posted anything yet. Why cant I just sit down and type and post like everybody else? And I check my emails every day , its like an addiction, a bad habit that I just cant get rid of . (I seriously need rehab). Every addiction has rehab they say right? 
Anyways, back to the subject at hand. This has given me sleepless nights, I mean it. You know those nights you stay awake on the reading table going through anything and everythimg from blogs to online books and all hoping to get a clue on anything to write on,anything. And to try to learn on how to write something that has that writers touch and flow and by all means not plagiarize but wapi
And speaking of plagiarism , I can’t deny that thought gas quite lingered on my mind on several occasions. There are several reasons I loathe plagiarism beside the fact that it makes one not authentic. There was once I plagiarie someones work on linkedin and a friend (whom I had never seen) made me hate myself for it. See i had had several legit posts on LinkedIn and this friend of mine had either liked, commented or inboxed me about the post to congradulate and encourage me on the same. I swear they were legit. But there’s once I wanted to sound on a different level so I copied and pasted some other persons work and posted. Of course I received a few likes but from this friend of mine. Twelve hours, twenty four one and a half days past without me hearing from him about my new post. It was until I deleated the post that he to talked to me! Imagine the magnitude of my guilt! i swore im not going to lose a worthy friend just because of stupid plagiarism. Heck no!im better than that…but the temptation’s too strong. Speaking of, im currentluy reading Othello by shakesspear and despite the fact that I cant get my eyes off it, its plagiarized work from the famous itallian novella writer Giraldi Clinthio (1560s ). Shakespear transformed it into a masterpiece of his own and look at him, the greatest playwrite of all times and Othello is his greatest tragedy playwrite! Then im like, why not me? 
But that is not my greatest greatest worry is can I maintan flow, can I keep my reader on toes and expectant? First of all can I even get an audience and get them to like my work and look forward to some more the next day? And do I even sound original? Don’t get me started, I love Othello and always look forward to some more the next page. Either way The temptations too strong and the price too high. The temptation of becoming a plagiarist and reposting y’all works and placing my signature on them, LOL! Again if there’s anything I know not how to handle, it would be guilt. The temptation of daring to put my thoughts down on paper and be original. Wait, remid me what I’ve got to risk again please? And thus my plight begineth.