Nma, I had A Dream.
-Nma, I had a dream
I can’t tell if it was a good or bad one
Perhaps it was a message from the ones that do not sleep and watch over me
Maybe it is my evil thoughts trying to permeate my happy place as they do when i’m fully awake.
-I was being chased by familiar spirits
Future and past spirits
You see, since I began to discuss every little thing that resides in my mind
In hopes that I could escape from the heaviness, I have not known the peace I seek.
-I didn’t pray immediately like you taught me to after a bad dream
It brings solace and I’m scared to admit I would like to stay this way for a while
Instead I’m drowning in sounds of the people that feel God’s grace
‘Amarachukwu’ , I should feel his grace.
-Nma, I killed a man in my dream
I woke with fear under me like a spring pushing me up
I hoped silently that I had not harmed those around me
I’m scared of myself. For myself.
-I realised I have no one to hold me. To protect me. To rock me back to sleep.
I was trying to help someone dear to me, I think
I’m disturbed at how easy it was for me to jam the scissors in his side
Didn’t bother me in the slightest bit.
-I wanted to hurt him
I wanted him to live
I wanted him to pay
I wanted to see him bleed, dead even.
-I’m saddened because I don’t have control of my thoughts
The voices inside my head feel so real
They make me cry then go quiet when I start questioning my sanity. Who will answer my questions?
-Nma, I was choking in this my dream
I woke up just in time. When I was inches away from my own demise
Filled with the sour taste of my dinner from the night before
Desperate for oxygen.
-I’m afraid to return to sleep, to see how it ends
I’m afraid because this is the first dream i’ve had in months
Or the first one I can remember
It’s stupid because the characters were actors but a sense of closeness played in the air
-Nma, I saved a child
Her father was trying to kill her mother
Trying to kill her
But it feels like I saved myself
She was me, she was mine.
‘Nma’ — mother (Igbo language)
‘Amarachukwu’- God’s grace (Igbo language)