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Andrew Paul
Andrew Paul

137 Followers

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Published in

Human Parts

·Aug 26, 2019

In Defense of Twitter’s ‘Reply Guy’

Online harassers have poisoned Twitter, but we can still find space for normal conversation, right? — Hello. My name is Andrew, and I’m a Reply Guy. Twitter is my life’s one major addiction. The same way gambling addicts feed quarters into a slot machine hoping for a jackpot, I refresh my timeline for breaking news, calls for pitches, snarky jokes, and other miscellaneous inanities more often…

Twitter

5 min read

In Defense of Twitter’s ‘Reply Guy’
In Defense of Twitter’s ‘Reply Guy’
Twitter

5 min read


Oct 11, 2018

This Is A House Of Afghan War Veterans, And I’ll Be Damned If Big Government Thinks They Can End Our Way Of Life

“Today, for the first time in history, a young American can enlist to fight in a US war that started before he or she was born.” — Buzzfeed News I’m a soldier in the Afghan War, have been for going on eighteen years now. I come from a family of…

Afghanistan

4 min read

This Is A House Of Afghan War Veterans, And I’ll Be Damned If Big Government Thinks They Can End…
This Is A House Of Afghan War Veterans, And I’ll Be Damned If Big Government Thinks They Can End…
Afghanistan

4 min read


Oct 4, 2018

I’m FBI Trainee Clarice Starling, and After Three Days of Exhaustive Research, I Believe We Can Finally Close the Case on Buffalo Bill

Good morning, everyone. My name is Clarice Starling. I’m an FBI trainee, and have been assisting with the Bureau’s recent investigation into a string of serial murders supposedly linked to an individual some of the more macabre among us dubbed “Buffalo Bill.” This anonymous killer terrorized the country for the…

Crime

4 min read

I’m FBI Trainee Clarice Starling, and After Three Days of Exhaustive Research, I Believe We Can…
I’m FBI Trainee Clarice Starling, and After Three Days of Exhaustive Research, I Believe We Can…
Crime

4 min read


Published in

RollingStone

·Jul 24, 2018

Nathan Bernard: Meet the Man Trolling the Alt-Right on Twitter

Bernard and his buddies are beating Mike Cernovich, Baked Alaska and other far-right personalities at their own sordid online games — but how low is too low? — It took roughly four hours for Nathan Bernard to build a direct line to the president. Bernard, an app developer and self-taught coder, noticed the same handful of pro-Trump Twitter accounts consistently responding first each time Donald sent out one of his grammatically questionable, 140-character-or-less messages in the months leading…

Social Media

10 min read

Nathan Bernard: Meet the Man Trolling the Alt-Right on Twitter
Nathan Bernard: Meet the Man Trolling the Alt-Right on Twitter
Social Media

10 min read


Jul 20, 2018

Marvel Presents: Infinity Campaigns

Welcome to San Diego Comic-Con, everyone! I know you all have been waiting in line all day for our big Marvel panel, and what a panel it’s been so far! Did y’all like seeing Chris Evans moonwalk across the stage? I sure did. So…we’ve got one more announcement for you…

Movies

4 min read

Marvel Presents: Infinity Campaigns
Marvel Presents: Infinity Campaigns
Movies

4 min read


Jun 28, 2018

I’m Beginning to Think Our Societal System of Sacrificing People to the Corn God Might Be a Bit Outdated

Hey, Malachai, thanks for taking a moment to talk with me. I know you’re a busy kid, what with managing the flock and getting ready for the evening sacrifice and all that. Wanted to get your opinion on something real quick, feel free to toss it back my way —…

Humor

3 min read

I’m Beginning to Think Our Societal System of Sacrificing People to the Corn God Might Be a Bit…
I’m Beginning to Think Our Societal System of Sacrificing People to the Corn God Might Be a Bit…
Humor

3 min read


May 17, 2018

Thank You For Your Generous Donation To Our Synagogue in Hopes of Ushering in Your Apocalypse

Wow. I don’t know what to say, reverend. You and your congregants have outdone yourselves, really. This might be the biggest single donation this synagogue has ever received. I’m truly speechless. I’m sure you heard about our building’s structural problems, and just how much it would cost us in repairs…

Judaism

3 min read

Thank You For Your Generous Donation To Our Synagogue in Hopes of Ushering in Your Apocalypse
Thank You For Your Generous Donation To Our Synagogue in Hopes of Ushering in Your Apocalypse
Judaism

3 min read


Mar 12, 2018

The Comforting Insanity of Creepypasta

How an online repository of horror fiction feels more real than ever in a post-Trump world — There’s something particularly — some might say obviously — horrific about the boogeymen of the real world. Everything they do, no matter how corrupt, vile, or sadistic, occurs within a realm of possibility, and no amount of reassurance changes that. Whispering “it’s only a story” doesn’t work. Every headline seems…

Horror

7 min read

The Comforting Insanity of Creepypasta
The Comforting Insanity of Creepypasta
Horror

7 min read

Andrew Paul

Andrew Paul

137 Followers

a gigantic peepshow of utter horror, but extraordinarily to the point. | www.andrewpaulwrites.com

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