Frequency: Audacious mental models
Color-coding empathy so we can use it more intentionally
(Introductory series on Frequency, part 9 of 20)
The world comes into our consciousness in the form of a map already drawn, a story already told, a hypothesis, a construction of our own making. We perceive only the sensations we are programmed to receive, and our awareness is further restricted by the fact that we recognize only those for which we have mental maps or categories.
— Roz and Ben Zander, The Art of Possibility
Transforming intangibles into tangibles
This initial twenty-part Frequency article series has involved an intentional holding pattern around the metaphorical concept of frequency, resonance and nuance as well as large cetaceans and vast oceans.
It’s a deliberate choice, to linger on these symbols, because (and all communicators probably know this intuitively) the minute we start to explore intangible territories dealing with abstractions like, for example, empathy — and especially empathy manifested through disembodied mediums — it becomes clear that we need some memorable frameworks if we’re going to form any kind of useful frame of reference or mental model.
A theory comprised of many mental models
Empathic Colormapping as a developing theory, is an audacious attempt to put some symbolism around what exactly empathy in communication looks like.
This theory is informed by a growing body of mental models and data derived from systems thinking, behavioral psychology, information design, and more.
But most of all this theory has evolved from observing next-level communicators and the ways they show up to engage with avidly engaged audiences.
Making your entire being hum in recognition
The theory encompasses the concept of frequency — sending out certain frequencies — as well as resonance and nuance.
We’re not even close to talking about nuance (all the intangible ways we might communicate complex ideas across multiple channels to diverse audiences).
But resonance — the way that someone in a completely separate geographical location to you, can sing or say or write things that make your entire being hum in recognition — that’s the audacious territory we’re going into.
There are a great many case studies in development, that can begin to demonstrate and test the application of this theory, this evolving mental model. But in this article we’re going to touch on a basic overview of the nine primary elements of empathic communication.
Ten core human desires a touchpoint for empathy
The overview also touches on the “ten desires that drive us” theory expounded by social psychologist Hugh Mackay (mentioned in a previous Medium article, “Engaging the Grey Matter,” in this Frequency series) and proposes which core desires each element might spark and speak to.
As a quick refresher, those ten core desires (these are proposed core desires beyond our physiological needs) are the following:
- The desire to be taken seriously
- The desire for ‘my place’
- The desire for something to believe in
- The desire to connect
- The desire to be useful
- The desire to belong
- The desire for more
- The desire for control
- The desire for something to happen
- The desire for love
Highlighting these core desires might begin to explain why, when genuinely caring teachers, mentors, communicators bother to show up, we resonate so strongly on their frequencies.
Nine primary elements of empathic communication
It’s a new theory. An evolving mental model. It’s medium-gnostic. It’s a work in progress. This is the latest iteration, from the lab, tested on a few dozen peers and mentors and presented from the reader/viewer/listener’s perspective:
Empathic connection 01: Say something remarkable
Grab my attention with something worthy of remark.
Speaks to my core desire: for something to happen; for more
Empathic connection 02: Say something reliable
Earn my trust with your credibility markers and experience.
Speaks to my core desire: for something to believe in; to be taken seriously
Empathic connection 03: Say something relatable
Capture my emotions with your personal origin story, lows and highs.
Speaks to my core desire: to connect
Empathic connection 04: Say something memorable
Hold my interest with your stories, anecdotes, analogies and metaphors.
Speaks to my core desire: to connect; to belong; for something to happen
Empathic connection 05: Say something motivational
Engage me directly with your affirmations and personal pronouns.
Speaks to my core desire: to be taken seriously; for ‘my place’; for something to believe in; to connect
Empathic connection 06: Say something meaningful
Transform my perspective with a synthesis of your findings.
Speaks to my core desire: for something to believe in
Empathic connection 07: Say something proactive
Reward my investment (of time, attention, resource) with actionables.
Speaks to my core desire: for more; for control; to be useful
Empathic connection 08: Say something personable
Draw the circle bigger with inclusive language.
Speaks to my core desire: to belong; to connect; for love
Empathic connection 09: Say something playful
Introduce delight by using humor and novelty and multi-sensory input.
Speaks to my core desire: for something to happen
Combining empathic signals adds resonance
So this is a start to trying to break down a little bit behind this visualizing-empathy theory. I began developing this theory within big-idea nonfiction books, but since those are much longer-form reading, I’ve begun introducing the concepts through this lens of a TED talk.
Extrapolating the theory
The evolving theory involves the audacious question as to whether it was possible to build out a mental map that was truly medium-gnostic. Clearly, there would be special considerations for each platform. But when it comes to connecting — really connecting, engaging, learning to write or speak or sketch or audio-visually communicate words and ideas that resonate — might there be an overarching model for doing that effectively?
For both frequency-creators and avid-resonators
We’ll explore it more! Whether you’re a communicator or a reader, you might think about whether any of the signals —remarkable, reliable, relatable, memorable, motivational, meaningful, proactive, personable, playful — remind you of your favorite big-idea books, blogs, TED talks, events, workshops, or other informative and educational and entertaining types of communication.
I’d love to hear if this sparks anything in you, if it lights up your brain in any particular ways. And I can’t wait to share with you a visual case study of someone who’s been deeply embedded in working with resonant frequencies and colors that help to map light-up-your-brain communication.
(This is part nine in a twenty part introductory series exploring the intersection of frequency, resonance and nuance. Find part 1 “Frequency: A fairytale” here, part 2 “Waving to the whales” here, part 3 “Ravenous beasts among us” here, part 4 “The magic of enthralling prose” here, part 5 “Illuminating the abyss” here, part 6 “It’s all about the hum” here, part 7 “Empathic colormapping” here and part 8 “Engaging the grey matter” here.)
