First of all, I applaud your ambition. Of all the interracial configurations available to you, the black woman to white man grouping is the most charged. You’re certainly on brand with the confidence level or on brand with your obliviousness to the situation. Either way, you’re on brand and I’m here to support you.

Now, because you’re a white man, I assume you want to know my qualifications to assist you — white men love a CV and references. I’m a black woman who’s been in a relationship with a white man for 6 years. I’m from the south and…

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

In Chicago, it’s illegal to impersonate a judge. Chicago isn’t unique. There is Federal law that says pretty much the same thing. I would wager that most, if not every, state in the U.S. has a law against impersonating a public official. Chicago is unique in that a woman was charged in 2016 with false impersonation of a judge.

The Chicago woman charged was a lawyer who clerked for a judge in Illinois. The attorney allegedly put on the judge’s robe, sat in the courtroom and actually ruled on a couple of traffic cases. At the time of the incident…

Photo by Niki Sanders on Unsplash

In Austin, TX, if you leave an animal in a car that is too hot or too cold, police can break your window to get him out and you have to pay for it! I love this law! I am visiting Austin for the very first time and, as a law lover, I perused some of the local rules and came across this one. They’re really taking animal safety seriously in the Lone Star state and I am here for it.

Fido and Spot — Austin, TX is where you want to take your owner on your next road trip…

Photo by on Unsplash

In Tennessee, it is illegal to share your Netflix password with someone else. If you don’t pay for Netflix, then you can’t watch it in the Volunteer State.

Come again? Really?

Yup, it’s the truth.

In 2011, Tennessee amended its definition of the word “services” under their criminal statute to include “entertainment subscription service.” Netflix is an entertainment subscription service which means that anyone who “intentionally obtains” Netflix in such a way that they “avoid payment “ for it, is guilty of a crime under Section 39–14 -104 of the Tennessee Criminal Code.

Yikes! Netflix and chill can be a…

Photo by David Menidrey on Unsplash

Hold on to your jack o lanterns! This week’s law will make your candy corns sour, send mummies back to their tombs and have Frankenstein’s monster screaming in horror. In Virginia Beach, Va it is illegal for anyone over the age of 12 to trick or treat! Now, for you readers not familiar with trick or treating, allow me to explain. Trick or treating is

a Halloween practice in which [persons] wearing costumes go from door to door in a neighborhood saying “trick or treat” when a door is opened to ask for treats with the implied threat of playing…

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

In Rhode Island, it’s illegal to cuss. This is not a joke. This is the law. For real. Saying S*%T or F&#K or A!#?@%E is against the law. The breadth of this law is so wide I have to quote it:

“Every person who shall be guilty of profane swearing and cursing shall be fined not exceeding five dollars ($5.00).”

Every person. Every single person. Seriously? Even an actor who’s been cast as Lady Macbeth and has waited their entire professional life to utter the seminal line “Out, damn’d spot!”

Even a person who accidentally slams their finger in a…

Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash

Every state in America allows a pet owner to set up an Honorary Trust for the care of a pet. Under U.S. law, animals are property and can’t be direct beneficiaries in a will or a traditional trust. However, these special Honorary Pet Trust laws do allow an owner to provide for their animals.

In New York, a pet owner can create a trust for their kitten or doggie (or any other pet) and fund it so that their pet can be provided for after the owner’s death. However, the law allows a court to reduce the amount of money…

Bathrooms are hard to come by in the Empire State. Clean bathrooms even more so. Clean bathrooms are like unicorns: breathtaking, beautiful and probably a Bed Bath & Beyond display. If do you happen upon a public loo it’s most likely to be devoid of toilet paper, soap and hope. The nicer bathrooms are usually in a hotel or restaurant. But most businesses will only let you use their toilet if you’re a customer, which I understand. I don’t love it but I get it.

However, New York law makes things even more difficult for those of us who have…

In 2011, a 7 year old crested macaque monkey named Naruto took a picture of himself, a selfie, with the camera of wildlife photographer David Slater. Slater had gone to the Indonesian Island of Sulawesi for the purpose of photographing animals.

Slater set up his camera on a tripod with a cable release switch. Naruto pressed the switch to take his now famous selfie:

Photo by Charles 🇵🇭 on Unsplash

In Bothell, Washington there is a law (Chapter 6.16.011 C) that requires any person in the company of an animal to have in their immediate possession a poop sized bag with them AT ALL TIMES when they’re on the public or private property of someone else. This law is GANGSTA.

I’ve stepped in dog poop more than once. It wasn’t fun. I’m not a dog owner and have never had to pick up their poop, but I can imagine picking up poop kinda sucks. …

Andrea Coleman

Comic & Attorney: I love rules, writing & laughing. Follow me on Instagram @andreacolemancomedy or visit me at

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