How to improve your influence & be memorable
“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.” — Ken Blanchard
Why influence is important
I want you to think of someone you met for the first time the past 30 days. The first person you can think of, then think of what it is they did that made you think of them when I asked you to. It may be really easy or extremely difficult to think of someone, or maybe knowing why they poped up in your head. Regardless, they did or have something that stands out from your ordinary life.
Okay, so you’ve though of someone, now imagine being able to make sure people think of you instead of someone else if they where asked the same question. It’s not that difficult and it can have a big impact on your life if you do it when you meet new people. Not only will the chances of them remembering you be a lot higher in case you meet them again, but they will also most definetly have a positive attitude towards you as a person.
When we think about people we don’t really think about how they look or
their voice, we think about how they make us feel. Just stop for a moment and think of it yourself, try to put that statement into a real life situation. For example, when you hear the name of someone you don’t like. Do you think about how they look like & their voice or just the emotion you feel when you’re around them.
This is why you want to be charismatic, if people have a positive view on you, it will be easier for you to change their perspective or mind on or about something. Maybe you’ll popup in their head when you’re not around and they’ll mention you, and suddenly you may have someone interesting contact you that eventually could become a new friend or contact.
Compliments are probably one of the easiest ways to make someone remember you.
Just think about how many times you’ve been given a compliment the past month who isn’t someone you’re close to. Of course you shouldn’t lie just to give a compliment. If you don’t think a person is dressing well, then don’t tell them they do just for the sake of making them remember you, there are other ways. And lying is not an option.
Let them affect your life
Maybe ask them for a favour or advice about something they seem to have experience with. Asking someone for advice shows vulnerability and humility, which in this case, is a good thing. Asking for advice makes people think about themselves and how they can help which stimulates interesting conversations. Then let them know in which scenario you used their advice and what the outcome was. This makes people feel appreciated which is always a good thing.
The Franklin Effect
The first term of Benjamin Franklin’s time in the office he made a lot of enemies & as his re-election approached he wanted to make sure he would get enough votes to win. Benjamin knew that if he could make one of his biggest adversaries that was highly influential sway his opinion about him, he could get enough votes to win the election.
But Benjamin didn’t try to bribe or convince his adversary. Instead he sent a letter asking to borrow a book he knew his adversary owned and liked. His adversary was flattered and also excited by Benjamin’s interest in his similar taste in books. He sent Benjamin the book and once Benjamin had finished reading it, he returned with a thank you. Later on legislature his adversary approached Benjamin and they congenially spoke about the book as well as other common interest.
After this, Benjamin’s adversary didn’t just stop speaking ill of Benjamin but they also became friends. Benjamin managed to turn a foe into a friend by asked him for a favour. — The Franklin Effect
How can I help you?
If you see someone struggling with something, ask them if there’s anything you can do to help. When you have a problem one of the best things that could happen is someone offering you help. It’s a really rare thing today to meet people who genuinely just want to help. Once again, you’re doing something that’s out of the ordinary that gives people a positive view on you. If you want to help someone with something, just ask them if they want your help, regardless of how well you know them. It’s not about getting something in return, it’s about.. well.. helping someone. The worst possible outcome is them saying no thanks and that’s it. They will probably still be grateful for the offer and see you as a better person than they did before.
Eye contact is known to be the window to the soul and it’s a pretty accurate way of describing it.
Eye contact shows confidence and competence. If you look at the person who’s talking in the eyes they will get confirmation on that you’re listening and also that you’re interested in what they’re saying.
We love being seen and if you show interest in what someone’s saying, they will remember it. They will feel appreciated and that can mean a lot to some people. Looking someone in the eyes during a conversation can be a great way of showing interest without actually saying anything.
Just beware of what signals you’re sending, you may end up giving the person your looking at the wrong impression.
If you’re interested in how powerful eye contact can be, I have a post just about that too, that you can read here: [The Power Of Eye Contact]
Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone to be a better you. I highly suggest you try some of the things listed above to see how they play out and how it may end up affecting your life. As mentioned earlier, I have another post on medium about eye contact, so if you’re interested in that or would like to read more (upcoming posts) from me it’d be awesome if you could follow me here on Medium ❤
Hey! My name is Andreas and I’m a student in Stockholm currently studying tech and entrepreneurship. I’m currently learning Swift for iOS Development and I wish to become an entrepreneur once I’m done with school. Right now I’m trying to grow a bigger audience on social media and if you’re interested it would be amazing if you could follow me there. Regardless, hope you learned something new & have an awesome day!