The double-edged dance between Vulnerability and Projections
Any wound or source of suffering is partially defined by a direct exposure to the outside world which implies being confronted to an obvious opening door that makes us vulnerable to the unpredictable that’s staring at us once we have passed the threshold of that previously mentioned door. This sort of uncertain dive into the unknown is generated by some mysterious mechanisms which are located beyond the circumference of our inner universe.
Of course, it hurts and it may hurt a lot when we open ourselves, when the shell we’ve created for protection purposes decides to widely crack, exposing our naked self to the judgment or accusations of external instances. I might agree that this spiritual and/or emotional undressing may hurt simply because as any other type of opening, this implies a kind of vulnerability that our ego is not ready and willing to accept … yet.
We’re tremendously wrong to think that being strong means covering ourselves with a layer of superficiality in order to proudly display our apparent intangibility. The force of a human being doesn’t reside in our possessions, our skills or our relationships but in the courage to entirely assume and expose ourselves to the world in a genuine manner, in a way that thoroughly matches our core values. That is real vulnerability.
Once in awhile, it’s totally ok and even worth it to feel like you are a little disconnected from the surrounding world while staying centered into your own truth. Even though painful episodes will appear like dark clouds on the sky of your existence, you firmly stay into your element and show up as you are. Rather than losing your limited time to build a defensive wall against a world based on strict, stiff and shallow directives, you choose to stay centered and embrace the vulnerability of your uniqueness. Even though you may feel tempted to fit in, resist the urge to please everyone else but yourself. Don’t get yourself lost in repetitive patterns induced by the environment you live in just for the sake of convenience. Do you think is it really a good move to give them the right to take you away from your inner self?
The more you resist showing and owning your true self while hosting it with a vulnerable attitude, the harder the boundaries you’ve created against the idea of oneness are to be demolished. After a while, the armor falls and the vacuum that it has been hiding tends to frighten us even more than the wounds caused by a solitary exploration. The sound generated by the cracking of the protective shell makes us deaf to any kind of unnecessary materiality. Since the by-product of this explosion is silence, we don’t feel anymore the futility of our ears that used to constantly listen to senseless noises. Notice that we already live in a world of massive auditory pollution.
Now, those sounds loaded with dark notes no longer interfere with our new ability to listen in a new found “endocentric” way. The process of listening happens then in a radial manner which means that it implies an opening followed by an expansion from our center towards others. That openness keeps a stable grounding state during the whole time of the interaction we have with our fellows.
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage” — Brené Brown
The intention to start an exchange with other individuals by engaging your own center and consciously choose to stay there for the entire length of the interhuman encounter, fully exposed in the inner light of your being which is radiating towards your partner(s) of interaction is an essential pillar in order to build a solid reliance with others. With this new concept integrated, you will be more likely prone to be attracted by a life devoid of mundane materialism and bulky, useless possessions. Instead, your sense of being will be directed to an existence loaded with subtle and meaningful experiences.
The simple act of opening the door of our confinement by an assumed vulnerability is the reflection of a glittery sign that life presents us among an infinite series of challenges in the aim of cultivating self-awareness and encouraging us to evolve as spiritual beings. The mix of particles that surrounds us comes from the same essence from which our being initially started to develop as an energy form. Thus, following this reasoning, exposing ourselves in a vulnerable manner isn’t such a dramatic fact. It can simply mean messing with what we already contain.
It’s usually our choice to see the experience we’re currently living through the mind’s thick lenses that creates a distorted vision. On top of that self created flaw, the overflowing imagination unleashed by our lower brain (supposedly known to be located in the hypothalamus) tends to easily freak out and consider being vulnerable as a significant threat to our survival.
Moreover, from a spiritual perspective, whenever the evil plans of our intellect interfere with feelings, they cause an inconsistency that inevitably leads to the creation of an energy block. It’s worth repeating that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness or the expression of a naive and helpless individual but a real precursor for a spiritual state that allows us to be widely open to all the opportunities that life has to offer. By being vulnerable, we have the ability to naturally embrace the unknown camouflaged in the form of new experiences and allow ourselves to be dwelling with emotions that are filled with a sense that goes beyond our limited mental comprehension.
It is therefore about being fully exposed with a minimal amount of fear to all the challenges that cross the path of our life journey. The prompt response that the inner intelligence of our body is able to provide us in situations like for instance, avoiding an obstacle on the road or overcoming it when its avoidance wasn’t delivered on time, mainly comes from a state of alertness, increased vigilance but also from an open regard towards vulnerability doubled by the acceptance of its presence.
Vulnerability equally encourages spontaneity and the art of living in the present moment, without expectations regarding future events and without regrets about past experiences. The act of creating our life in the present moment throws us into an unaffected state of being regarding certain attachments that are source of burdensome and unnecessary suffering. The mastering of unpredictable events that do not depend on our own will, is more achievable if we become vulnerable because the conscious exposure regarding anything that might happen in our lives, brings us exactly where we are supposed to arrive.
The denial of our emotions, the rationalization of their arousal and the sculpture of a mental model awkwardly built from a mold made out of feelings are situations which are tremendously lacking vulnerability. The above situations are instead filled with inflexible projections that are likely to carry a low probability to occur. Their manifestation is blocked by the fact that our mental patterns are in a strong contradiction with the emotional stream that flows fluidly through our being. The flowing process is totally independent of our conscious will.
Have you ever noticed that the majority of mental projections that we make in relation to the future are almost never realized? What is the reason behind this observation which is so statistically prevalent? The fact of projecting our present dreams into a future reality is not a malicious action after all. On the contrary, designating a guideline for our projects is an essential key to consolidate a life which is in harmony with our inner values.
However, what makes our lives meaningless and reflecting no satisfaction resides in a forced projection without any flexibility. As a matter of fact, having the intention of being attached to the result of a projection is not an action carrier of gratitude and happiness. If there are uncontrollable events destroying the evolution towards our future projected goal, we are going to find ourselves in a situation where we will be lost, without knowing how and what to do. So establishing rigid pylons to the bridge of our projects without thinking about the possibility that their position may change along the way, represents an unrealistic vision which is, in most cases, completely unreachable.

The flexibility of our pylons is primordial in achieving a desirable manifestation for our intentions. As a result, what needs to remain fixed is our final goal (dream, culmination of a project, result of an action). However, the course to follow in order to achieve this goal must be flexible and have, if possible, a certain degree of detachment from the individual in relation to the result. The tangents applied to this path are multiple and it’s pretty difficult to predict which one of these tangents will fill into our personal journey in order to avoid a destructive reaction that could generate an instability or a balance loss in the walk towards the realization of our intentions.
Making statistical calculations concerning past events may still have some kind of interest. It allows us to create a conscious vision of the trends that occurred in the context of a population (group, team, professional frame, community, …) during a certain period of time. However, submitting a statistical analysis as a forecast for our individual future projects is just a waste of time and energy because the progress towards the project’s completion is by no means predictable.
Basically, we can only predict the destination but we can’t precisely define the number of steps that will take us to get there, the rate of occurrence of an obstacle, the difficulties along the way or the necessary amount of time in order to complete the achievement process.
The trip is not predictable however the destination is an induced sound result of our projections.
There is a direct link between vulnerability and projections. They can dance together in a mortuary movement or mutually perform into a blissful choreography. However, projecting the fact of expressing more vulnerability into the future kills this intention before its eventual manifestation. The intent of modeling our future by involving several types of constraints is not a very healthy approach.
It may be accurate to avoid making projections on emotional scars, feelings related affairs or psychological matter because with those aspects, the outcome is unpredictable and quite stunning sometimes. Feelings can’t be manipulated by our logical mind. They happen spontaneously without any intervention from our will. They are simply there. We feel them but we have no idea of why or how this is happening to us. The emotional aspect is a pretty unstable field, similar to moving lands that may prevent us from taking steps forward and seeing clearly on the path that leads us to our destination. The key is to accept and allow those emotions to get dissolved by themselves in the same manner they initially appeared … as random manifestation. Regardless of the time it takes, no matter how long you stay emerged into an uncomfortable feeling, just let it be and be patient. It will pass. Interestingly enough, many of the emotions we feel are not even ours … but this is another topic that goes beyond the purpose of this article.
Thinking about an emotional consequence without putting things into perspective represents some kind of suicidal act in the worst case or if the drama is not so intense, it may refer to a dead end or simply a disturbing roadblock from where our life unfolds in a sad and irremediable way.
Down below there is a list of some life aspects that may accept vulnerability as a driving force followed by a list of factors that don’t consider vulnerability as a propulsive device to our most meaningful dreams, loaded with indestructible yearnings and adding powerful value to our being.
Vulnerability ON
- concrete actions
- projects aligned with our core values
- clear and precise directives
- details regarding the intervention of some individuals into our life
- the personal experience on the effect generated by the environment
- flexibility to the unpredictable
- precise strategy
- dividing complex tasks into simple actions
- self-awareness
- clarification of your own and unique dreams
Vulnerability OFF
- material and emotional attachment that doesn’t show flexibility
- expectations regarding the outcome of a certain action
- losing control in an unpredictable situation
- making thing too personal by insertion of the “I” in the accomplishment of a project which is totally independent from our intervention
- lack of detachment (when necessary)
- slightly depressed and unstable or ungrounded personality
- lack of spiritual depth
- stereotypical closure
If you still believe that being vulnerable is risky, if you worry that you might be hurt somehow or if you are still thinking about the need for a minimal protection against a potential emotional threat, know that the thing that will keep you safe on your self growth journey stems out of FAITH aka having boundless trust in Life.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- In which circumstances I might have the guard off and embrace more vulnerability? In which situations I might drop the need to control everything?
- In which way being vulnerability may benefit me?
- What risks I may encounter if I start to become more vulnerable?
After reading this article, do you consider the possibility to welcome more vulnerability into your life? Let me know in the comments. I would appreciate to hear from you.
