What To Do The Next Time You Disagree With Someone
When was the last time you you were in a argument, a disagreement, a frustrating or complex situation? When was the last time you said — “They just don’t understand!” or “How could they do that!?”
I think we all suffer at times from a limited perspective. We get caught up in OUR feelings, OUR beliefs, OUR past, OUR experiences, OUR viewpoints. So we enter into conversations, and disagreements with all of OUR baggage… We make rude comments to others, and have preconceived feelings towards others.
Never taking the time to pause, to listen, to intentionally try to understand where the other person is coming from. To understand THEIR beliefs, THEIR past, and THEIR experiences.
We as people all have beautiful stories, we all have experiences (some painful, others joyous) that changed us and molded us into the people we are today. We are able to learn so much from others, when we set aside our eagerness to be right. When we lay aside our pride, and instead journey alongside others.
Could you imagine the next time you were in a argument with your significant other, and you simply paused the conversation and said —
“Would you please help me better understand your beliefs in this matter?” or “Could you share where you are at in this season of life? Which may help me better understand”
Just a simply question is able to change the whole direction of a heated conversation. Stepping into the another person shoes brings clarity to better respond to others. We then in turn have more compassion towards others.
A surprising amount of the time the very thing that we were arguing over falls to the wayside, because we start to understand each other on a deeper level, it’s truly fascinating!
Turning Frowns Upside Down is my motto at work as a customer service manager.
You want to know how I do it!?
When the customer is venting their problem to me over the phone. I close my eyes, and picture myself in their shoes. I intently listen to all they have to say, as questions to understand the entire picture. Once I have the whole story, I treat them as I would want to be treated.
In the same way we must learn to do this with the loved ones in our lives! We should be intently listening 80% percent of the the time, and the other 20% we should be speaking/responding. When we learn to apply this principle to our conversations, we will grow to know others on a much more authentic level!
So I challenge you! Start learning to pause and put yourself in other people’s shoes!
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Be Blessed! I love you all!
-Andrew


