What I know about Love… from my first Love experience
As a twenty year old, you can imagine that I don’t know much about love.
I am just an average college girl who tries to live life and win the games that many young people unintentionally play once they enter the dating age.
Now, I am a very positive person and I think love is a beautiful thing. I am a strong believer in forgiveness, hope, and most importantly love.
However, I love to have fun. I like to go on adventures and live life as if there is no tomorrow. (Gemini girl ;) This is all great, but it can interfere with love.
You see, to me love involves many things but especially the following: faithfulness, respect, selflessness, loyalty, and you get the point.
For the short period of time that I have been alive, I never really paid attention or given any one person those full characters of love. I have been with a few guys and from my experience, I noticed that I wasn’t giving love my all. I wasn’t the best lover.
Until I met this guy about a year ago.
I shall call him Joy because that’s what he did to me. He proved to me that there was a difference between joy and happiness. He was my Joy.
As you might have noticed, it is in the past tense so something happened with Joy and I. Like all great things that come to an end, our relationship did. We ended. Still breaks my heart to say that but it is all part of life.
I am not going to assign blames because it was not really his fault nor was it mine. We were simply being humans. Doing our own thing and it did not work out. The good news is, it ended on positive terms and that does not mean it hurts any less, it just means that I feel good about myself at the end of each day because the man I love does not, as far as I know, perceive me in a negative light. We made good memories and it stayed that way.
Now, I am going to write a blog entry every day because it is part of my healing process, like a journal writing. I think it will help me reach my goal of learning to love myself and start believing that Joy makes me very happy but he is not my ONLY source of happiness. I can be a joyful soul, without him. He is a great addition onto my life, but I do not need him to complete me. I wish to develop a relationship with myself as of this year. I want to love myself before I dive unto the romance land again because it will make me happier and thus a better partner to my next lover.
I would like to invite you to join me on this journey. Perhaps you can learn a few things about love, or maybe not. Because I am barely old enough to talk about love, I am sure I am not as knowledgeable in this area as I’d like to think. Anyways, it would be lovely to have you with me in this journey of finding self-love. My plan is to merely talk about the only time I truly loved a man and discuss what I took from those experiences.
If you choose to follow my entries, thank you. Because I think knowing I might help other people through the lessons I learned and experiences I have acquired will help me heal. It’s comforting to know that there are other people who are going through similar heartbreaks and we help each other because although strength comes from within, other people can definitely add to it.
Also, it provides motivation to continue writing because at a certain point, I reckon I would want to give up because come one it is kinda pathetic. Having to create a coping mechanism and a sort of a plan to get over some guy. It’s tragic really! But I shall try to do whatever it takes to move on and accept the truth of the situation. I deserve happiness and for now I am able to smile because I can see a silver lining. I feel proud of myself because I am doing something to continue my life after some dear to me decided to walk out of my life. I am all about that self-empowerment and yes I will pat myself in the back for coming up with a writing therapy instead of drugs and whatnot.
Besides, there is one important reason you should stick around: I honestly think I am a fantastic writer. If you are not here to learn anything, at least you can enjoy reading my entries. (I really am not a narcissist, I just believe that people should reward themselves — like compliment/praise themselves — for the great things they do. Believe me, it’s imperative to your happiness.)
So THANK YOU!
Also, I will post a quote from a song that relates to my feelings for that entry and I shall put the artist, the title, and the link — if there is one — to the song.
Here is today’s quote Leona Lewis Better in time “Since there’s no more you and me. This time I let you go so I can be free. And live my life how it should be. No matter how hard it is I will be fine without you.”
See you tomorrow comrades! And yes you should come back :)