
And I watched him leave. Till he got lost in the crowd, till the last moment. That moment stayed with me forever. Forever... is there anything like 'forever’? Because I’m talking of 'forever' but it’s just been a year. Okay, more than a year may be. I met a man.
I met a man, accidentally, and thankfully not in my city. The set up was completely different, unpredictable and beautiful. Far from the hustle bustle of caging cities. A set up where I could actually inhale new thoughts, weird concepts, accept the futility of my own existence... yeah, that too!
It’s easy to find dates for a single woman in cities, right? You meet new people, like new people, get to know a lot of them. I have been on such dates too. Dates that smell of coffee, excitement, freshly sprayed perfume... all of it, in fact. You bring your best to the table, be at your best self. But what if you chance upon someone when you are completely unprepared? Oh, that’s easy. You just be your honest self. The vulnerable self, that you protect with guard up!
Well, I would have never known the meaning of a true 'conversation' if my guards were not put to sleep for a day.
Okay, let’s skip the prelude. I met this fine man a year back. A man that could easily be mistaken as a boy for his pure smile, unkept hair and beard. A typical traveller-looking boy, Bengali moms warn their girls to stay away from. Why? Well, raunchy movie stereotypes!!! ;)
So I stayed away too. But in unavoidable circumstances we had to talk to each other. And it took us few heartbeats to be friends. Ah, not a 'friend' friend. You know, the kinds you make on your trips? Yes, that kind of friends :)
Well, I was pissed beacuse I was far from home, the city I know, and I had to curtail my plans for some weather condition! But I realised, the company of this man was comforting me. And we started talking. I always thought my concept of human relationships were weird. It didn’t conform to the norms the society imposes upon us. And most of the people I knew were unlike me. Some didn’t believe in relationships because they were scared of relationships, some didn’t because they had been through childhood issues. I had none of these conditions. So long one-to-one conversations are a little tiring for me usually.
As the conversation unfolds, he suffers from the same condition. Mood swings were a common link too. So we kept on talking. I, being a listener usually, ended up talking a lot. Because it’s easier to become cathartic in front of a stranger, right? But I listened more. What I heard was not noise, not the common concepts of life, not the conventional tongue. It was music to me. I heard stories that I hadn’t heard before. Stories of real people, in real relationships, fighting inner demons. And that added to my fear of being caged in a hollow relationship.
We almost lost temporal perception unless we heard the birds chirping. It was dawn. and we kept talking, sitting on the uncomfortable chairs, facing each other. I knew it was time to leave. And I, who never preferred one-to-one conversations, was hooked on to that for almost 10 hours! The best conversation of my life had finally ended with breakfast.
'What is 'love' anyway?' the question stayed with me. The answer stayed too. I got my answer right there, I had known love like never before. But that’s not something I’m gonna disclose in this personal blog.
Do we realise how hollow, mundane our relationships are? Introspect, may be! I’ll leave a blank space for all of your answers.
I never met him again. Chatted over phone once. But it was dangerous. He echoed my weirdness, and it was dangerous! Some stories should be left on a different note. We left ours at that picturesque set up.
