Public Address Regarding My Nomination

January 8th, 2017

Four days ago, on January 4th, President-elect TheySinned announced his intention to nominate me to the position of Attorney General in his upcoming administration. It’s been quite the roller coaster since then; many arguments, lots of flaming, and most of all, a whole lot of drama. I thought I’d take a bit of time to address some of this since it’s been very messy and I feel like it’s important to address it and possibly correct any wrongs. Note in advance that this post is not intended to be of utmost formality; it is a laid back public address authored and published solely by myself.

A day after the announcement, Plutocratic Chairwoman and Senate Majority Leader SurpriseParty tweeted her dissent on my nomination, calling it “the last major blow the DOJ will get before it crumbles”. This to me was quite a shocking occurrence; I had previously been under the impression that Surprise would have been supportive of my nomination, considering her opinions on my nominations to other positions in the past. The time that elapsed before I received any word on the reasons for this felt like an eternity; I itched to address these concerns. When I saw them, I was fairly puzzled. I’ll address some of these as follows.

However, before I start, I do wish to apologise to Senator SurpriseParty for my recent actions. Last Friday, I didn’t feel very well and missed school because of it, and when an 11-month-old video of me making an arrest of a Tow Truck Service employee was brought to light and questioned, I did not understand the allegations and responded immaturely. I quickly assumed this to be a direct accusation of criminal activity and was very angered by this; I went to the extent of calling it slander. Reflecting, I realise that I most definitely took this the wrong way and I apologise for not questioning the intent and purpose first.

The first concern I’ll address is that I am “politically active”. Now, this is just simply not true. I’m a sitting Justice; it would be morally wrong for me to have an active role in politics in the continuance of my tenure. I never stray from my judicial morals in my decision making. I believe always in the proper administration of justice and fair judgment over all other factors. It’s unfortunate, honestly, that people would think this about me with how seriously I take my job. I’ve worked hard always to provide fair and equal judgment under law and preserve the integrity of the courts. A few individuals claimed that they believe this because of my recent vice presidential candidacy alongside my peer, MrShibe. It would be a mistake to assume that this classifies us as being politically active. The truth is MrShibe and I ran for fun. This is not to say that we ran necessarily as a joke; we tried our best, but we knew from the beginning that we had little to no chance. When we decided to run, we realised we had nothing to lose by running even if we got stomped on. In fact, the main reason we ended up dropping out may actually surprise you: we hated politics. Yes, you heard that right. We realised how much we despise politics and were sick of it; we ran for fun and it wasn’t fun anymore with all the dirtiness that comes with presidential elections. I guess I hadn’t learned my lesson from when I left the Senate because I hated politics so much previously. To wrap this up, there isn’t a way I can really prove to anyone that I’m not politically active, but so far the claims that I am such have been merely assumptions that I assure you are not as they seem, as I explained above with my vice presidential candidacy.

Another one I’ve heard is that I lack experience in executive leadership. Unlike the accusation of political activity, I can understand the concern with this one. It’s true; I’ve never directed any executive branch agency. However, I feel like this has been over exaggerated. While I may have never been a Director, it’s unfair to say that I don’t have administrative experience or proven leadership skills. Many people wouldn’t count this since it isn’t executive branch, but I might as well put it here anyway; I was the Chief of the Las Vegas Emergency Medical Service from February to June 2016; a time that saw it at its most active with over 100 active members. Within the executive branch, I have been an administrative employee within countless agencies. Deputy Director of IAB, Assistant Secretary of the Treasury, Assistant Director of FPS, FBI Board of Directors, USMS Board of Directors, Commander of the FBI CID, US Attorney for Las Vegas, US Attorney for the District of Columbia, among many, many others. All of these positions required me to exercise leadership functions, so I don’t find it all that fair to say that I don’t have the necessary experience to lead the Justice Department. I don’t feel like it should be a requirement that you be a multi-time Director to be qualified to be the Attorney General. Between the last two Attorneys General, there is one former agency director (Synapsic; FBI Director). If one was to apply this logic equally, they could probably conclude that Daniaii is the best Attorney General candidate. No offence to Daniaii or anything, but I don’t think you’ll hear anyone saying this. To sum this up: I’m more experienced in leadership roles than you probably thought; positions add up when you’ve been around as long as I have.

Finally, some have said that they oppose my nomination because I’m not in the department currently. I don’t really understand this one, nor is it even fully true. I was a member of the department for countless months up until June 2016 when I was appointed a judge of the Federal Court. As anyone involved in the legal system would know, the FC and the DoJ are working side-by-side at a constant, so I was never far at all during my stint as a judge; it was my job to deal with the department and its employees daily. Although I have taken very few FC cases since becoming an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, I have for the last while been a member of the DoJ Board of Directors as Advisor to the Attorney General. As such, I have been observing and overseeing (without authority) the department’s daily functions; saying that I am in the loop is definitely an understatement. Additionally, I don’t understand why it is considered vital that I be a current member of the department. The department is currently in a very poor state, so I don’t understand where this desire for current employees to be the only candidates comes from. I’m not saying that current employees shouldn’t be picked, I just don’t see why this is such a vital preference.

To conclude, in my eyes, this isn’t about me; it’s about what I can do for the department. Right now, I have elaborate plans and ideas for how I can further fix and improve it and I wish to take this opportunity so that I can show it instead of continuing to talk about it. This is my passion and likely the reason why I’m still here. I’ve seen the department go through many ups and downs and I know it thoroughly; I believe that I have what it takes to get things done. I wouldn’t take this position for personal gain because that doesn’t interest me at all. This is simply about what I can do for the department and field that I have dedicated countless hours to in my career.

Thank you for your time. I hope that I’ve changed some of your views on my nomination, and please; vote with your mind.

Yours sincerely,

Hon. AnimatedDannyo
Associate Justice of the Supreme Court