We Aren’t Going Anywhere

An Open Letter from A Trans Woman

I guess I’ll start this off simply:

What the hell is wrong with y’all?

Seriously. I know what’s wrong with transphobes. I know what’s wrong with TERFs. I know what’s wrong with white cis gay men.

What is wrong with you?

The person who sees transphobia, and chooses not to speak. The person who is aware what we as trans women face, is aware of the rampant transmisogyny that we deal with, the misogyny that we deal with, and you just watch.

Oh, you’ll say that you respect trans people. You’ll try to use the right pronouns. You’ll either make a huge deal or no deal of the problem if you don’t. But that makes you good. You want a cookie for being an “ally”.

If someone calls out terrible allies, I.e. #GoodCisPeople, you will take it super personal and say that you don’t want to be an ally if you’re being attacked.

You are the person I have an issue with.

If being called out on terrible behavior makes you not want to be an ally, you’re not being an ally. You’re trying to look like you care, but you don’t actually care. If you did, you wouldn’t feel called out when we call out bad behaviors.

You want the praise without doing the work.

You are a terrible, terrible person.

I’m not here to make friends.

I’m not here to pander to your cis feelings.

I’m here trying to educate, and trying to make the best of a society that would rather me be dead than coexist peacefully.

I’m white, there are things I absolutely don’t have to worry about. I live in California, that’s another thing that helps me right now. California isn’t likely to pass legislation that effectively bars trans people from government buildings. But some of my friends do. I probably don’t have to worry about being killed in the street. But some of my friends do.

You don’t have to worry about any of these things. But I’m supposed to pander to your feelings? You’re really going to act like me correcting your pronoun usage, or pointing out transmisogynistic things you do are even close to the same level?

And you won’t even get your people when you see a trans woman being dogpiled, or being harassed in public?


I don’t owe you anything. We don’t owe you anything.

We are stronger than you can imagine. We survived. Society tried to kill us early on. We survived. We were forged in the fires of society’s hate. And we aren’t going anywhere.

We are still here.

And we will always be here.

Sorry, that’s how life works.

You wanna be an ally? Be an ally.

You don’t? Sit down, and shut up.