Former Political Aide is Literally The Last Man Alive To Realize Trump Is A Psychopath

Former aide to President Obama, David Plouffe, came late to the party with the conclusion that Donald Trump is a “psychopath”. As possibly the last person on the face of the planet to realize this, Plouffe, or as friends call him Plouffey, stated to NBC that Trump’s symptoms include:

“grandiose notion of self-worth; pathological lying; lack of empathy and remorse.”

Plouffey came to this realization after he’d spent a “lovely” evening with Trump and didn’t receive a phone call the next day. Naturally, I thought to consult Trump’s former psychologist Dr. Doctor Facultativo about this. Dr. Facultativo also felt this was relevant to the recent misconceptions with so many people comparing Trump to Hilary.

“Mr. Plouffe is absolutely correct.” Said Dr. Facultativo, who also felt the need to express his opinions on why the Clintons are so constantly compared to the Trumps in an interview with myself that I’d just made up this morning. “The former friendship between the Clintons and Trumps was actually forged through a common medical illness in the Mr.s called: Genital Dissociation Disorder, in where men seem to lose all awareness of the objects they shove their genitals into (thus the “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” from Mr. Clinton and Trump’s constant issues with waking up with his male parts in the toaster). Right now there is no cure for said disease.” Dr. Facultativo later went on to praise Hilary for her strength in supporting her husband through this, especially since many men like Trump lack such a strong support system.

“Does this mean that Hillary herself bares no resemblance to Trump?” I asked.

“Fortunately, women don’t typically suffer from GDD and Hillary does tend to lack the symptoms of psychopathy or open fascism that Donald Trump exhibits. Though, if she was a man I highly doubt she’d be under suspicion. Many people aren’t even aware GDD exists at the moment.”

Though Dr. Facultativo was rather surprised when he’d heard what Plouffey said next about Trump:

“bigot who sees people of color only as votes, not as human beings.”
A trait that has yet to be seen in any candidate for President thus far.