What If You Just Showed Up?
My daughter and I were roller blading one day when she was in middle school. After watching me trip a few times and genuinely look pretty awkward, she said I should start a blog about my “real life” and I was agast.
No way — I was a professional ! If I didn’t behave the way I was expected to behave what would people think?!?!?
Living a bigger story means you’re ready to show up, step up, and live up to this one-and-only life you’ve been given.
Recently, given the downright lunacy of the world these past few years, I hadn’t been “showing up.”
Allowing things that are out of my control had become an excuse for not leading — myself, in my work, in my family, and in my community.
I’d convinced myself I was “stuck” but in reality, I had just been consuming information and, over time, that had cemented itself into a nasty habit.
Showing Up
How can you “show up” in your own life? For starters, decide to court your critics which will happen organically when you choose to be okay not being liked.
Be willing to be judged, disliked, gossiped about, laughed at, and ridiculed.
“Well shoot, that doesn’t sound like fun, Ann…I’m going back to trolling the internet.”
Now hang on…I’ll bet you can think of a time when you were your most authentic self, appropriate to the occasion, and the world didn’t fall apart.
When you were willing to let people see you and you were delightfully surprised they didn’t run screaming into the woods.
In fact, I’ll bet you endeared yourself to some people then and actually formed deeper relationships because of it.
Being genuine and authentic scares the crap out of us because we feel so vulnerable. But when we observe it in others, we think of them as courageous.
I recently read Dawn Barton’s book, “Laughing Through the Ugly Cry,” and I love watching her Instagram stories. Without her even knowing it, she has been inspiring me simply by showing up as herself.
Three things that helped me be more authentic:
The first was wishing my mother had let her badass out to play and had not been so worried about what other people thought of her. I only saw her let down her hair a few times and I was delighted and truly enamored when she did.
Second was knowing my own daughter has felt the same way about me.
She continues to encourage me to step out of the gilded cage I built for myself. She’s absolutely right because it’s the only way to truly “show up” in life.
I hadn’t spent my life trying to please everyone else, but I had spent it trying not to disappoint everyone else.
It’s the subtle difference between constantly striving for validation or playing small and not making mistakes. Either one is a prison for your soul.
Third, I’d come to realize playing small was selfish and cowardly.
Being consumed with insecurities is not only exhausting but self-absorbed and boring. I was no longer proud of the person I’d become.
I don’t want to be that person, and I couldn’t lead myself (let alone anyone else) out of a wet paper bag when I was that version of myself.
Hiding behind my fears was a selfish game I was no longer interested in playing.
Now what?
The question for you is “how are you showing up?
Are you peeking around the corner at your own life, wishing you were actually there?
Are you admiring others as they step into their own and shed their crazy baggage and history?
Shoot, we need you out here. The real you.
You must know how amazing your life will be when you let your persona take a break and allow your true self to step out into the light.
You’ll feel awkward at first but, given a little practice, you’ll feel an uncanny sense of release and a renewed sense of fun.
That alone is a good reason to show up, step up, and live up to a bigger, better, brighter, and bolder story :-)
Take charge!
