Why am I here…

The answer to that question? There isn’t one. It’s rhetorical. Maybe. If there were an answer it would lie somewhere between the pessimistic, “Eh, I don’t want to bore you with the details of my craziness.” and the optimistic, “You will read my blog everyday because I’m fucking hilarious in the delivery of my craziness.”

I am Anne James. No, I’m really not.

Anne James is the Batman to my Bruce Wayne. Notice I did not say the Superman to my Clark Kent. I don’t have a malicious bone in my body and I am so confident in the glowing white purity of my feedback/opinion/advice/love/help that, for a moment, it would genuinely hurt my feelings if you questioned my motives. Then I would feel sorry for you for missing out on having an ally/friend that would be there, without judgement, even when you’re wrong. Still then, I’d spend some time pondering what you may have experienced in life that would cause you to question someone that has never done you wrong and analyze every possible lesson I could gain and grow from to store in my wise-beyond-her-years file. After that I’d move on as if you never happened; genuinely. Here’s the rub — I’m an open book but, I won’t chase you down in an attempt to find out what went wrong so I can plead my case. Ask me, in earnest, and my DNA — seemingly made up of empathy, emotion, and love of humanity — will respond honestly, mortified at the thought of hurting you. Otherwise — hey lesson learned, thanks — my file only keeps the wisdom of what I should/could have done different; it was my choices and my lessons to be learned, not a lesson you taught me. Your face and/or name may remain but when I reference them, its like reading a story I read once. I have no emotion tied to the memories. No wishing it would have been different, no wondering how you’re doing, no questioning of how my life would be different if…

I have a theory on what caused that shut-off valve, but that’s for another martini.

My Bruce Wayne wants to help and doesn’t give a shit about recognition and has no desire for praise, in fact, would prefer to stay under the radar but, my Batman has grown cold from the darkness and while the will to help is still there, the give a fuck is broken and the disappointment is expected. Anne James is my alter-ego that allows me to be unfiltered and uncensored. I can tell my stories my way without fear of hurting or embarrassing people I love.

Why am I here…

1. Therapy.
2. Pursuit of happiness.
3. To share things I love.
4. To ask questions.
5. To share the crazy.
6. To be Batman.

Still with me? Hey I’m funny dammit. You’ll see. The true title of my very first ever blog post should have been — Why don’t you stop staring at a blank screen and write something already! Damn man, wtf are you doing here?

My ex-husband said I was nice, warm, and welcoming but had a way of “just pissing people off” and he didn’t know why. To the dismay of my mother, I walked away after nearly 20 years with only what would fit in the cab of my truck. Initially. That’s a great story for another bowl of popcorn though. Another told me he would say things “just hear my response” because I couldn’t be phased and my responses were fast and funny. People like my ex that take themselves way too serious find me to be an acquired taste at best, the latter types seem to find my true personality entertaining.

Why am I here…

1. I hope to find myself in the midst losing myself.
2. I hope to turn my tragedies into comedies.
3. I hope to learn from comments, feedback, and writings from others.

My passions include:

1. My (24 yr old) kid — the cream in my coffee, the apple of my eye, the air that I breathe; the only thing that could have saved my dumb 16 yr old ass; my drive to create something to leave her and her future children.
2. Cryptocurrencies and Bitcoin — its a thing that’s world-changing and can potentially make you a great deal of money yet, you’ve never heard of it; trollbox adventures.
3. Human behavior — why do i remember every detail like it was yesterday but my brother remembers nothing; why was I the kid no one wanted; why do people do what they do.
4. Erotica — get it together fellas.
5. Relationships — lighten up ladies.
6. Wanderlust — get me out of here before I stab myself in the eye with a pencil.
7. Searching for a way to quit my day job — hire me to write for you; click this link; if you are not a servant leader, everyone hates you; dear lawd I’m bout to be fired.
8. Daily life — always funny (if you’re happy) and always a lesson to learn.
9. So much more.
10. Are you stuck on #4?

No shame in my game. The well of material is like the money pit on Oak Island — no amount of money, desire, or innovation will get me to the treasure. Still, I’m looking forward to this journey like a child anticipating their birthday party! That being said, I kind of expect the cake to be vanilla instead of chocolate and the biggest gift to be a damn Barbie playhouse instead of the Millennium Falcon…can’t imagine why I rebelled at such a young age.

I hope you, the hypothetical one soul that read to the end in hopes there would be an orgasmic type payoff (I love you and appreciate the stamina but I have a bit of a headache) will enjoy my craziness and feedback me from time to time, whether you enjoyed it or not.