I’m fighting with anxiety

I heard that writing is one of the best ways to get over anxiety. That’s why I’m writing now.

The anxiety is almost the worst thing I have ever experienced. It takes away my strength, my motivation to do anything, my hope, my confidence, my ‘normal me’. It makes me hate myself and start to think that I’m a failure.

I don’t know since when my anxiety exists, but it grows stronger and stronger. Sometimes I can control it, sometimes it controls me. Though I’m getting used to it, I still can not deal with it.

I partly understand why I have anxiety. I’m always afraid that my beloved ones would leave me someday. I’m afraid that I won’t be as successful as I thought I would be when turning 30. The more successful people I see, the more worry I am.

That’s way too bad. I’m letting others control my emotions, my feelings. It’s even worse when I’m WAITING for something, or someone to save me. Hah, that’s ridiculous. Then next time facing with anxiety, I’ll wait for my hero one more time?

I know that it must be ME who get me out of this mess. It’s just… I haven’t found the right way yet, or the time hasn’t come yet?

I also know that I will get better soon, but at this moment it’s still too hard to bear.

Anyone have experiences fighting with anxiety? Please share!

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