I totally understand your feelings. I’ve had cancer three times and it’s just a matter of time before it returns. No one wants to call it a cure, remission or NED, but I’ve been cancer free for 6 years now. If and when it comes back, I’m not sure I will go back chemotherapy. I spent two years being sick, even after treatment ended. For four years now, I’m feeling pretty good, in spite of constant pain, but not feeling sick and no medications at all. To me, that’s progress. No one knows how long we each will live. Chemo could extend our lives only to be hit by a bus the next day. There are no guarantees.