negotiating with demons of the mind

Since a few weeks i have been experiencing fears about my mindset and possibly platooning in my education. This is an attempt to look at the deeper aspects that are producing these thought and maybe use this wisdom for preventing it or negotiating with it.

What’s the problem?

I have never ever experienced any form of fear of failure and have linked this to me always performing well on test. This have been from a young age so this is deeply rooted in my identity and i have used this positive affirmation to keep myself calm before a test or exam. Since about a week i have been experiencing thought that make me more afraid of making any kinds of exams. I identify this problem as 2 destructive thoughts that i’ve been having. The first thought is the fear of getting the fear of failure. I have a fear that if i keep having this thought, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy and it will effect my results. The second thought is platooning in my education. What i mean by this is that i have the fear that i will come to a point where i will be having so much trouble learning the study material, that i have reached some sort of natural limit and can’t get any further.

What’s wrong with these thought or how to get rid of these thoughts

What’s wrong with the first thought. is that i have no reference and/or reason to assume. This because my scores have been better that ever. Even for subjects i have always neglected. I think these thought stem from a recent fundamental change in my mindset and learning. Where i have been giving more attention to my weaker subjects thus exposing and confronting my weaknesses. So i account these thoughts to be sort of a counter reaction from my body and mind to stop the discomfort for confronting my weaknesses. i have been in a very active mindset lately were i’m turning my thoughts into action and just pick up my todo’s even if the discomfort me. A good solution for this problem is to remember where this feeling actually comes from. And to remember that experimenting and testing your skills and exposing your flaws is actually fundamental for great personal development. As the say what gets measured gets done and there is no better learning experience and measurement than just start something in a immersive all out yet playful way of putting your knowledge and experience to the test and coming up with new creative connections and thoughts. to later reflect, process and internalize these new findings. To be willing to questions and put everything you know about a subject to the test. is looking with a objectively or completely different frame of mind to a problem and trying out new things until you find flaws in your knowledge of the subject. only then can you come to new conclusion and redefine your your mind.

What’s is wrong with the thought of platooning in my education. Seems to be overlapping with the first thought. As there also seems to be no reference and/or evidence that my education is platooing. but there actually seem to be counterwise evidence that i seem to be growing at a faster rate than ever before. As i have been putting thoughts i have been forming for the last three years rapidly into action and have been yielding new levels of results. What’s also wrong with this thought is that while this thought isn’t even based on facts. It also may not even be a determinate factor for my set goals in life. Other factors like dedication, determination, focus, action taking, experimenting, and reflecting have a much bigger factor in attaining these goals. keeping a open mindset that is willing to experiment and playfully test existing knowledge, assumptions and/or new possibilities. While at he same time mindfully documenting and reflecting on these new findings. is in my eyes a far more powerful way of achieving personal development and attaining proficiency in a subject as just blind-fully rehearsing and recalling facts is.

A good way to achieve this

A good way in achieving these skills is to get in the habit of having the hackers mentality that is willing to put any conventions or presumptions about a subject aside. And in this open mindset start testing in a logical order and scientific way new assumptions. While documenting not only for himself but others these findings in writing or any other form of communication that is most appropriate. so this findings can be reflected upon and internalize.

(yeah it’s a rant, but that’s just the way it is..☺)