When It Comes to Winning, It’s All About Your Standards
The article starts like this….. “In corporate and political America, women just can’t win.” I respect Catherine Rampell’s ‘Millennial View’ in Too tough, too quiet: Women can’t win, but I disagree with it and worry that if this is the sentiment so called ‘millennial’ women are carrying around, they’re missing a hard won point made by generations of women who paved the way ahead of them. That point: women have choices and it’s high time to quit worrying about what other people think. Catherine writes as if she’s a victim and so is her generation. We worked too hard for that and defeatist thinking leads to defeat.
women have choices and it’s high time to quit worrying about what other people think
Catherine writes about women being viewed as too pushy or weak; of the betwixt and between of how one is viewed by taking a maternity leave or not. She writes about politicians who navigate a ‘narrow path’ between being oneself without triggering stereotypes. She writes about some jerk who snaps a photo of a woman’s pumps in a meeting and then tweets a sexist remark. But none of this matters. What counts is living your truth, responsibly.
My concern for Catherine’s point of view (and she’s entitled to it), is that it puts too much stake on other people’s opinions. She writes as if women have to adhere to some invisible mysterious standard that is outside themselves rather than focus on the internal standards we hold inside ourselves. Get a new job. Start a new company. Ask for a raise and make a point of doing so with a decent business case that any executive can follow. And if they don’t buy it, then hold your head up high and go someplace else or do something else. Make your own sandbox and don’t let anyone poop in it.
Are there schmucks out there yes? Are their pig-headed slobs who are biased?Absolutely. But we have choices about who we surround ourselves with and how we respond to external events including what other people think. If some guy tweets about your shoes, respond — Gee Joe ‘if the shoe fits…..’ and quit taking the jerk so seriously and ignore him. Better yet use some humor. Just quit taking it all so seriously. Make choices to be who you are, perception be damned and be OK with what anybody thinks.
There are no unattainable standards for women. There are only the standards we set for ourselves. Our values are our true north, our compass is our own. It’s time to quit walking the fine lines she writes about. Whose are they anyway? Get onto your own highway, rock those high heels and full speed ahead.
