I sat in the office on Friday evening and cried my eyes out — it was about work and unfair decisions but I feel for you.
Now to this love that will never go away cause I don’t want it to go away — I was nearly 18 and met the nicest, sweetest man I had ever seen before. Unfortunately I was much too young and already too broken to understand what a rare diamond I had found. After 2 years of being a young, unexperienced asshole I left him cause I wanted to end his suffering and wasn’t able to tame myself.
Around 1 year later I had a severe car accident and nearly died — he went to visit me and the whole world around me disappeared and with it my present boyfriend visiting me too. Some time later said boyfriend was in a clinic and got his hand fixed , we met again and I begged him to take me back, still the same broken, immature bitch but he refused and I felt so lost. Some weeks later he died in a car accident. All in all it took me over 7 years to get somewhat back to live and stop crying about this lost chance. And then it took me 14 years of therapy to grow up, create the woman I want to be and stop being a bitch and an asshole.
From time to time I still cry over him and I miss him like nothing else in my life — no job, no hobby, no friend and not my awesome husband will ever change anything of this.
I think in whatever fortunate situation we we are in the now, we are still allowed to grieve over lost loved ones, chances or whatever. Sometimes I even cry just cause I need some cleaning of heart and mind and I really don’t care if someone is around or not. Just not at home cause my husband would feel helpless.
