Of course I believe you (and everyone else) and I am glad you are a Survivor.
I have a totally different story with raping cause I didn’t saw it as raping — instead I thought it’s what a girl has to do cause I learned it that way from my Mom — sad isn’t it?
It happened again and again with many guys cause I was stoping saying no after I did it once and he did not listen. I found another way out: I dissociated.
Until today I have a hard time staying in reality during normal intercourse.