On Eating Cereal out of Tupperware with a Serving Spoon

As I look around my kitchen at the mounds of dishes in the sink and on the counter and stove, I can’t help but think about society. Society would tell me to find one of the several dirty bowls and hundreds of dirty spoons and wash those for my cereal. Then, after finishing my bowl of societal pressure, I should take it back to the kitchen and wash it AGAIN for whomever next needs a bowl. Then maybe I should just wash the rest of the dishes so that they are clean and ready as needed. I’ll just keep this up for the rest of my life until I die elbow-deep in sudsy water. Luckily, I don’t play be society’s rules. Luckily, although the upper cabinets are bare of all dishes, I know there is a lower one full of Tupperware and freedom. I need only kneel down and take it.

And why wouldn’t I? After resorting to Tupperware out of necessity several times, I have come to discover its superiority to standard dishware. While a typical bowl is only good for one meal at a time, Tupperware is in it for the long-run. Did you pour too much for one sitting? Throw a lid on that sucker and stick in in the already overflowing fridge for later, where you will inevitably forget about it. On that same note, however, Tupperware offers you the freedom of choosing your own serving size. Average size bowls try to tell you when you’ve had enough, but not Tupperware. You can eat as much soggy cereal as will slide down your gullet. It’s all you, buddy. Go for it.

Tupperware is the ultimate last resort when you have given up on adulthood and responsibility in general. And as I finish this essay, so too do I finish the large container of cereal that was my breakfast. I am beginning to realize that I may have made a slight tactical error. This was my last clean Tupperware container.

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