Your presence matters, the art of showing up

If you have ever presented on stage before you know how nerve-racking it could be. The lights shining on you, the creaking sound of the boards below your feet. Your mind processes the range of facial expressions in the audience. You could feel all this anxiety building up as you try to visualize your performance.

I was watching a video montage of kids on stage and the reactions they had when they finally saw their family. You could see the worry and loneliness melt in an instant and the confidence boost they get in that same moment. (the internet needs more of that stuff. 🥹 good stuff)

We all know the impact we have when we show up for others, but what about when it comes to us? On a daily basis, who comes to show up for you? No one comes to get you out of bed. No one shows up to drive you to the gym. No one sits you down in front of the computer and tells you to start typing. That’s all just you, showing up for YOU.

We were told to have Self Esteem when we were little but it’s a difficult concept to understand as a child. Esteem means to hold something in high regard, and self means you do it yourself. So without any praise from others, without the ‘Likes and hearts’ from social media, you have to hold yourself in hard regard. You accomplish this one of two ways, either you have a narcissistic view of yourself and you think you are the best thing on this planet, or you show up for yourself when it counts.

In this post, I’ll explain why it’s important to show up for yourself daily and how you can get started setting yourself up to succeed just by your willingness to show up.

What does it mean to “Show up for yourself”

This means that we are both the performer and the audience because we are both nervous and confident. I would often ask people, “When you are talking to yourself, who do you think is doing the listening?” When you hear people giving themselves pep talks on the side, “You can do this, you got this.” Who is talking and who is listening? I believe it’s your higher self is talking to that lower self. When you show up for yourself it’s your higher self cheering on your lower self, signifying that WE are here.

Why is this important? Why is self-confidence important? Because self-doubt is real. Self-doubt is a corrosive feeling, able to dissolve any dreams, ideas, or good intentions. Anything that you want done comes with a level of self-doubt that must be dealt with. The more difficult the task, the higher the amount of self-doubt that comes with it. Sure we still can do things with a level of doubt, think about all those times that you said, “Wow I didn’t think it was gonna work.” there was some doubt there but your belief outweighed the doubt, so you at least made the attempt and were rewarded for it.

The way you get rid of doubt is with action. Action cures all levels of uncertainty.

So how do we build this confidence, how do we get started? Below are some ways to get the ball rolling.

Be Willing to Try

Mel Robbin’s author of ‘’The 5 Second Rule”, defines confidence as your willingness to try. She strips away the mystique that confidence has as being this charismatic, handsome, magnetic personality type. Strip that all away and confidence is just action in the form of an attempt.

In pool (billiards), when learning to hit the ball, beginning players will miss the shot because they are too focused on “making the ball.” There eye-line moves at the last minute from the cue ball to the pocket, resulting in a miss-cue. The focus should be on hitting the cue ball as accurately as possible, what happens after that is up to the table to decide.

The only thing that is your responsibility is the attempt, and at the beginning that’s just giving it a try.

Start small

Think about every first day at a new school, or first day on the job. How much pressure did you put on yourself that you needed to know everything? So why do we do that when we start something for ourselves? Why do we expect championship results on the first day of practice?

The first day usually starts with a list of supplies and a page full of login info. That’s it. On day two you start shadowing someone at work, learning how to walk. The same is true for when you start something, you watch some YouTube videos and you copy what they are doing. The point is, don’t expect huge results in the beginning, just start small. One attempt after another. Eventually, you’ll have what Alex Hormozi calls “a stack of undeniable proof.” A collection of small attempts that prove you are capable.

Focus on what you have control over

You can’t control the sale, but you can make the call.
You can’t lift 200 lbs., but you can lift 10 lbs. 20 times.

You can’t control the outputs but you can control the inputs. You could be there on time and present, what happens after that, who knows, but you’ll be there.

If you want to start working out, focus on just showing up at the beginning, focus on putting on your shoes and walking out the door. That will eventually grow into you making it into the gym. And eventually, you’ll say, while I’m here I might as well work out.

So no matter how you feel, the most important thing is you keep that promise to show up and be present. It doesn’t matter the results, the showing up is the part that counts, we’ll have all the time in the world later to count reps, calls, clicks, or dollars. Those are all results. For now on the consistency timeline just focus on showing up, and when you look at yourself in the mirror, you’ll thank yourself for being there.