Define Special pt 1
“Define special,” she requested.
I paused. I had the answer but I believed she wanted depth. He eyes stared into mine. I caught a smile on her face. She dipped her coffee and patiently waited for my response. What if I was wrong and she wanted it plain and simple? Be me or seem smarter than I am. Time was rolling away. Any second longer and she would think me an idiot.
“What do you think?” I tried to deflect.
First date jitters; they unnerved me. I rarely went on dates because I found my interest in women dwindling. I met five new women every week and found it hard connecting with any of them. It was me, it’s always me. I never started what I couldn’t finish.
I met my date on a night out. It wasn’t our first time meeting but the first engaging each other in a conversation. It was embroiling and fun. Prior that night, I never noticed how cute she was or friendly. My confidence played a huge part: the relentless self doubts were unavailable that night. We talked for so long it felt we came out together. A friend had just come home from London for two weeks, that night being the bed of her visit, my plan to party with her was foiled that night.
Two hours after we still were talking, occasionally whispering in each other’s ears because the music was too loud. First time I got up close, I could smell her perfume. It was delightful. I found every excuse to get closer to her just to breathe the perfume. Thirty minutes after and I found an excuse to end the conversation. I gave her my phone and she put in her number.
“I asked you first,” She insisted.
I smiled.
“Don’t overthink it,” She continued.
She got me. Ugh!
“You got me,” I joked.
She stared and I did back.
“Its subjective really,” I finally answered. “Perspective.”
“Why so?”
“To each person the definition differs because….” I paused.
I remembered something.
“Why did you ask?” I asked her.
“You seem to use it a lot,” She responded.
Lost, I asked for clarity. Something was odd.
“You don’t remember telling me how special I am to you?”
Her eyes fixed on mine. She was still. You would think her dead.
“We just started talking,” I was confused.
“Nope,” She smiled.
Nope?
“You don’t remember me?” She laughed. “You really don’t.”
