Origin: Fear, fury, courage, confidence, curiosity, and ignorance.

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste”, a phrase I find to be a little corny at times. Yet it is still one that when I think of jolts energy into my mind sending it into a blind frenzy of action that carries my thoughts into fruition.

For the past few months I’ve been finding it impossible to get a smooth night’s rest. Endlessly I seem to travel a reality ridden journey of ever streaming night and day. Entire days feel as though they are quickly passing BART trains, where the days are reduced to a mere few hours instead of a full 24. Laced in fear I am without direction, and though saturated in optimism it’s been becoming more and more clear that I don’t really know what I am doing. I riddle myself exhausted with ambiguous questions, thus loathing in frustration when the ever expanding answers I come up with seem only meaningless and unsubstantial.

Interesting enough, through the thick of it all I have somehow managed to arrive at today. A presenence, that for whatever reason feels different. Today, I am careless and curious, unsapped by fear and internal ridicule. I feel like right now, at this very moment I can see with a bit of clarity. So, I have decided to use it for all its foreseeable worth and write to you. Perhaps this is a step, a kind of first step into a new world. And so it goes …

What am I? I am an ever evolving force of creativity, or at least I hope. Additionally, at this oh so very present point in my life I am villainous, beautiful, fierce, and ignorant, free. Free. I am an overwhelming source of energy filled with too much thought and not enough avenues to express myself in a way I find truly satisfying. Yet, I press forward.

I have created so much, and yet never shared any of it. If it’s true that every new project is better than the last, then I’ve got an invisible portfolio full trash.

Nevertheless, I attempt to grasp sanity through the act of writing.

I write for balance, inspiration, and connectivity.

I am a single man’s mind sliced into 3 rampant geysers of expression. From the inside out it, 1 — starts with my base thoughts. 2 — drudges and blends into writing. 3 — pollinates through speech. But please be without mistake, my base thoughts are the most savage and dangerous of them all.

Laced in vile unrefined reactions, fostered in a world broken, and shocked by the said history of my existence. My base thoughts at their foundational context are monstrous, venomous, ravenous little things. A culmination of unadulterated perspectives of this world we live in that is dark and murky. Always.

Luckily, at least for everyone else, little to no person outside of myself ever has to experience that. For my subconscious filter is a well fueled machine built of understanding, empathy, humility, and the general ability to think before creating.

Which leads me to expression through writing. It comes out as an entirely different share than its place of inception, that of my unauthored mind. No, my writing is hyperactive. It’s a multi-level QA tested assumed understanding of the world and it hungers to be experienced and understood. It’s pressed out of the incomprehensible supervillain that is my thoughts and formed into a well groomed piece of newly created honesty that delivers a streamed reading adventure that is identifiable, fun, charismatic, passionate and at times sarcastic. My writing is fueled by the past shares of many artists, most notably the likes of Robert E. Howard, MF DOOM, Octavia Butler, Phillip K. Dick and Pablo Neruda. All these brilliant people seemed/seem to also write from a dark place but additionally possess varying degrees of palatable tasteful resounding execution.

Like a sword made of liquid I am sliced into the 3, my process of expression in completeness is quite hilarious in many ways, for my final form of expression is that of speech. Through speech I am a complete optimist, one that is convincing, inspired, and for the most part made of pure passion. Subconsciously, I speak in these tones of sincere optimism because I have come to believe that spoken words are exceptionally powerful. Throughout my life experiences I’ve seen said words sway the people in which I share them with to do a complete myriad of things. Good things. So I often remind myself, if words can spark evolution, fruition, and change then why ever fuel a mind in a negative way. The possibilities to create, nurture, and execute anything are limitless, and so I speak to that without constraint.

And so you begin to have it, this very human mind. One that perhaps isn’t actually much different than yours, or maybe it is. Nevertheless I write this to you. An intro, a kind of crumbled up invitation to journey with me. I hope to excite you with my writing and also sit you down and turn you about in your effort to understand the twirling of my expulsions, my out of place usage of words, and my visual perspectives that originate from a dark place but are ripped and mangled then pleasantly smashed back together pretty and shared.

Journey with me unfrozen by fear. Journey with me furiously. Journey with me with the courage of an open mind. Journey with me with confidence and curiosity into the unknown.

My only hope is that you might one day learn to understand me, a man. One melaninated in darkened hue brown, whose hair grows of immaculate tightly gnarled swirls. A man. One whose legs elongate a strenuous distance, and possesses eyes that sway in colours of jungle grown greens to sun stricken gold. I believe that to be the only difference between you and I, the physical. But then again I could be completely wrong.

This should be fun.

🎈-A