Grimro was online today. We played together. I was able to use my voice for the first time in a long time. It was fun playing with a compatriot in the crucible. We were communicating like watch left, good shot, and grenade! But then another friend of his joined the party, and his talking back and forth with Grimro made it difficult for me to get a word in.
This got to me. I started playing badly. In one round I got three kills and fourteen deaths. I played a couple more mediocre rounds, and then I let go of my controller, rage quitting.
Next time a situation like this happens, I’m going to try to remember that when I’m playing at night while Musette is sleeping, I say no words and make no sounds, and I play fine, so there is no need for me to express myself when there are other people around. I don’t need to score points with these people. I am a man. I can keep my emotions within myself. I don’t need to vent over the microphone. I am a writer. I can vent here to you, the audience, the page, that one person that I am writing to, whether it be a baby or a blonde woman in Ireland.
This is what they pay me for. The legendary marks on Destiny aren’t going to pay my bills. This is why The Lord keeps dropping my connection. He’s trying to drop me into a better version of myself. He’s helping me become a success. If I follow his plan for me then I might get that KickStarter I’ve been dreaming about that will bring me to a city near you. Wouldn’t that be nice, letting my voice boom freely, controlling the room without interruption or some other person’s uncontrollable leakage spilling over and drowning it out?
Originally published at appropouture.wordpress.com on January 24, 2016.