I gave Buzzfeed that resolution for 2016 to take shit from no one, but it’s a little easier said than done. I don’t want to work that Wednesday shift, but here I am about to tell my boss to sign me up.

I’m walking to work today after rummaging up two dollars in quarters to pay for my coffee from The Bakery. They know my face there. I’ve become a regular. They’ve got the best price in town. I usually leave a tip.

I haven’t eaten anything. We bought pizza with quarters last night. The pizza guy almost gave it to us for free, like we were a couple of stray dogs. He was talking about how nobody should try to take his gun rights from him. He said that if someone comes in with a gun he should be able to pull his out and pop the guy.

What am I supposed to say? That I’m a progressive? I don’t know. I like guns. I shoot all dang day on Destiny. Learned how to shoot in boy scouts. On the range, the day that I had explosive diarrhea in the outhouse. But I don’t own a gun.