Ode to the Black Business Owner During a Time of Unrest
My name is Theresa, I am an aspiring billionaire business owner. I am also a black woman living in America. I have seen so many blogs and articles talking about how tired we are. Or providing guidance on how white allies can work to dismantle systemic racism in all the institutions of our county. But I want to discuss from another point of view, that of the black business owner. I am developing an app and wellness program to spread the message about healthy living and wellness. How ironic, it’s the very program I need because how I felt last week, and honestly, I still am a bit now is raw.
I spent the weekend working on drafting resolutions (I’m the chair of diversity for my county’s democratic committee). I spent the last week writing letters to my governor and state legislator with the other members of the equity coalition. Writing and lobbying for racial and gender equity, I am a social justice fighter; but, I am also a businesswoman. A business owner who would have liked nothing better than to continue working on building my empire. Over the last week, I tried to sit at my computer and work on marketing. I needed to complete drafting wireframes for app workflows to send to my developer, I wanted to give it my 100, but in reality, as I worked, it was with this raw, painful feeling sitting at the bottom of my stomach. I tried editing my podcast with a dull piercing pain imitating from just behind my temples from the stress of it all.
I’m trying to be great. Why won’t the only country I know let me be great? I ask myself. As I sit through zoom meetings on pitching for fundraising with investors, I am also working on researching historical precedents to ensure that the call to action is accurate. As I listen to webinars on building an automated messaging system, I am also searching for policies to ensure proposed resolutions are laser-focused on potential solutions. I am a business owner, but I am also a warrior for justice, not just for race but for humanity, but its a lot, and, honestly it got to me and I broke.
I called a friend at midnight and broke down in tears over the phone. Anyone with even a pinch of understanding about the human mind knows I had the inevitable breakdown. The damn of sorrow as a mother of 3 black boys was released, and I am not, I AM NOT ashamed to admit, I was wailing. Wailing with the cries of a mother who could lose her the three beautiful beings she birthed into this world. I could potentially see the light I was blessed to nature get snuffed out for nothing but the color of their beautiful brown skin. Yeah, I wailed. At that moment, my fire for equality burned out. My business acumen couldn’t save me from the sorrow, and none of the business development books or strategic process development training was relevant or useful. My heart was broken, and I wailed.
In those moments of being torn between my pain and the need to continue working on my business, I remembered a documentary that came out on Netflix. It’s about Bill Gates and his journey to success. My wife brought to my attention because she was excited about watching this movie as it helped her get that “this is how your brain works, Theresa.” She’s fantastic and lets me put so much of my energy into creating and living my purpose. “I really see it. You’re just like him, designing and solving problems, scratching all those diagrams that are answers that no one else can see,” she laughed on the couch as she looked at the TV. All the while nodding to herself with the epiphany the documentary showed. But you know what, in my moment of despair, I had an epiphany as well because I am just as smart, I have a pretty decent IQ. Lord knows I have the drive, but I am also a black woman in America.
I am the descendant of a stolen people and no matter how hard I fight, or up my business skills, I know there is a wall. In those precious few moments, I really didn’t have to spare, I watched this man’s remarkable story. While I have grown up knowing about the two-sided system, it was even more apparent to me that this white man was able to gain access to people, funds, and opportunities that I will NEVER have.
Please don’t insult my intelligence and tell me, “hard work will always offer opportunities” because I WILL NEVER have access to this network.
I’m not whining, as I am not only a woman but a proud caramel complected, curves for days, and full locks of gorgeous wooly hair, African-American. There is a certain amount of privilege that allowed Bill Gates to focus solely on building his business. Allows him the good fortune to have to split his brainpower with the trama of watching his people literally die in the streets. He was allowed to problem-solve systematically and not have to build a framework to prove his worth because of his skin color.
Those institutions I am working to break down and bring true equality to the country I was born in. Those are the spaces that are closed to me. But, I see Michelle Obama, Oprah, and my own mother, and know I don’t need them to be successful. I will continue to work to break down the barriers so our country can indeed be free, but because of those women, I KNOW I can make it. But those are closed systems, Bill Gates was able to work through. He had the freedom to make use of the privilege those systems afforded him and build the empire I am hoping to develop. I wanted to point it out, “make it plain,” my uncle says, that those institutions are closed to black people, but we still have risen. Again, I rise, and I am proud of that. Through this heartache, I will continue to build the technology that will bring light and goodness into a world that hates me.
So this is a nod to my fellow black business owners. We are hurting, and we are building. Our ancestors are behind us, giving us the strength to continue building the country they were forced to build. Our spiritual guides and God is continually pouring our positive energy to help us manifest our destiny. We will do this despite the roadblocks and vitriol that is swirling around like a vicious hurricane. We will weather the storm like a deeply rooted tree. Continue building that empire brother, continue creating that kingdom sister.
Thanks to my friend, who just listened that morning and let me express. To pay it forward —
To my brothers and sisters, who are out there on the grind:
You’re working your destiny and striving to walk in integrity and fulfill your purposes for this life, despite having to push through the pain you are the manifest destiny of our ancestors. I wanted to say, I hear you and in solidarity offer a virtual hug with a whispered: “we shall overcome.” We must and will dust ourselves off and hop back on that path to success, spreading love and light. We all can continue to press forward with our businesses and build our business empire for the next generation. To my sisters, who are mothers, because we all heard George Floyd’s cry for his mom deep in our souls. To us #BOSSMOMS owners, who juggle motherhood and greatness. To those of us who have to prep for a board meeting while praying for grace and safety every time our children walk out the door. To the black business maven who goes over her pitch to raise capital for her venture while getting that one last hug and kiss just in case it’s the last one, this is especially for you. WE WILL continue to use our black girl magic everywhere and continue on as we do! {{hugs}}
Peace, Love, and Happiness from one business owner to another.
