Variation on a Theme

Similar to the header I made for https://ello.co/aquarienne this is a hefty series of layers edited on http://www.picmonkey.com part of which is my header here.

I started with a texture that I made called Tardis Marble. It is that very shocking blue with layers upon layers that create a mottled effect. Then a few more layers of my http://www.graphicstock.com patterns. Text overlays and you’re done.

It sounds simple. It looks simple. It took nearly 3 hours for me to get it the way that I wanted it.

Aquarius: Definition or aspiration? Honestly? A little bit of both. I am born fully under the sign of the water bearer, an air sign oddly enough, barely off the cusp of Capricorn. In all the ways that Aquarius is defined in literature I am.

witty, sarcastic,clever, unemotional
Humanitarian, Rebellious
inventive, stubborn, original & aloof
Paradoxical & magical.
Unconventional and intellectually independent, Aquarius is an avid learner that likes to go his or her own way. Aquarius craves intellectual stimulation,novelty, solitude, and adventure.

I learn through observation and have always been willing to dig into the deeper parts of a study rather than being satisfied with the meager offerings of text book or encyclopedia. Best at book learning, learning human interactions requires longer periods of study. Quiet study. Aquarius, as she observes will either creep you out or give you a false sense of interest.

The fastest way to an Aquarius heart is through the brain. I am no exception. Match wits with me, banter, parley, debate (not argue. If you want to fight talk to Capricorn or Aries.) introduce me to something new and clever. Do not expect an Aquarius to dumb things down for you if you want to be in a relationship. Assert your opinion of your own intellectual superiority while demeaning an Aquarius and you can kiss her ass as she walks out your door. Aquarius is a live and let live kind of person and the second someone decides not to let Aquarius live she is gone. She might not scald you with words. But if she does, they are going to be some of the pithiest you will ever hear.

Where relationships are concerned we prefer to make the smart choice. Someday I will tell you of how I let a Knight ride off into a hazy sunset because I couldn’t make the math of cohabitation work enough for me to say yes. We prefer the smart choice because the emotional choices are messy and chaotic. We might have rather Bohemian lifestyles (a bit messy) at home but we don’t want to have them in our hearts. So we tend to be a bit detached. This detachment affects partners with an unintended sense of insecurity. We are the real deal, no strings attached partners. The problem is that not everyone who says they don’t want strings can handle that kind of freedom themselves.

Independence is essential to Aquarius’ quality of life and well being. Originality, creative thinking, adaptability and a sense of adventure (even if it is only through books) are the most important traits of Aquarius. These are states of being. These states require a considerable amount of freedom to explore, implement new ideas, problem solve and experience to their fullest. These states of being are the essence of Aquarius. The moment constraints are placed on Aquarius and she senses her freedom is being curtailed or impinged flight mode is engaged and it is nearly impossible to get her back.

Being live and let live kind of people, it is difficult for Aquarius to understand some people’s need to dictate and control others. Anarchy is not necessarily desirable but neither is dictatorship. It doesn’t take much in the way of control for Aquarius to begin to feel trapped. She is self possessed and therefore self controlled enough that she doesn’t need any extra governance. Trapped Aquarius is as dangerous as bored Aquarius… control freaks beware!

The free-est of all the signs is the one most sought to possess. I have had very few relationships of any definition in which someone was not trying to cage me or put out my light. In all my years I have not been able to figure that one out. Is this my unsolvable puzzle?

Why do people want to capture and control Aquarius? And why are they so offended when we don’t let them? When I have had to end relationships of any sort it has gone in two ways. If I end it in anger they beg and plead for me to return, making all sorts of promises anyone who has watched 8 hours of a soap opera knows they have no intention of keeping. If I end things amicably and with reason I meet vitriol and violence. When I want to be left alone because I see the relationship is not going to be sufficient for either of us I commit a capital offense. Why?

When Aquarius is done with a relationship it is over forever. If you say sorry and mean it, offenses do not continue then we are cool. If not we are done. And there is no returning. That seems like a cold and hard rule. But here is the loophole. We are done until there is an apology and an amending. And that is the thing. Most people who we walk away from won’t say sorry. We tend to be very liberal minded so if you hurt us in a way that needs an apology it is because it was a deep hurt. People do not apologize. No apology no acceptance.

You can have all the forgiveness you want. But forgiveness is not the free pass to the inner sanctum others think that it is or should be. Forgiveness means I will cease to actively contemplate a painful existence for you. Aquarius will co-opt the Lord’s priviledge of vengence if the wound is deep enough. Everything but the requisite apology is offered as admittance:

I did it for your own good.
You’re just being sensitive.
I was only having fun.
You used to like it./ You let me do that before.
But I enjoy what I am doing.
So and so never got mad about it.

Just say you are sorry. Aquarius is incredibly forgiving when apologies are sincere. Respect the boundaries and Aquarius is an incredibly devoted friend.

Damaged Aquarius has the memory of an elephant. We never forget.

Aquarius also tends to over identify with their own sign. Which also means that they tend to over identify others with theirs. This is sometimes a good thing but can lead to a kind of rigidity that is the antithesis of what Aquarius is all about.