Stephen, in a healthy system the rest of the bitcoin economy should not even notice the miners. They workers. They churn their asics and verify for the benefit of the economy. If the economy does well, the miners do well(higher btc value), if the economy is harmed, the miners are harmed, and the opposite, if the miners do well so does the economy (higher security) and if the miners are harmed so is the economy.
Neither the miners therefore nor the economy has any interest in harming each other. They complement one another and neither can function without the other. There really should not be any disagreement between the miners and the users because they both share the same interests.
The situation we find ourself in (well sort of, all miners agree to lift the limit to at least 2mb) is unnatural and unhealthy. It is a product of the centralised limit. That’s why we want to remove that spanner and bring back bitcoin to its decentralised roots by moving the limit from the centralised protocol layer to the decentralised transport/node layer.
As for who holds ultimate power? No one does. Neither collectively nor individually. The power is dispersed between all and especially between the businesses (as proxy for the users) and miners.
In a theoretical war, which would only happen if a government intervened, the miners of course can cause damage, but the users can just change the algorithm and fire them all, hence making the exercise pointless.
So in an attack the users hold ultimate say obviously, but in a normal situation there should be no disagreement between the two, and indeed there is not. There is unanimous agreement that the limit is to be raised. The question is how. The answer is Bitcoin Unlimited.