The Wall: What can we read into Danny Dyer’s strange career move?

Last weekend saw the first series of Danny Dyer’s The Wall come to an end, and I can’t help thinking it’s a strange career choice for one of the small screen’s most renowned hard men.

Famed for his open-mouthed ‘fuck off’ squint whilst playing Mick Carter in Eastenders and his iconic ‘I Believe In UFOs’ documentary in which he concluded that evidence of extra-terrestrial life shown in the show was ‘proper muggy’, Danny Dyer has opted for a show that would typically be reserved for a second-rate comedian or Nick Knowles looking to top up his bank account following an unsuccessful country album.

So why has he done it? He can’t be skint. Maybe he thought he was getting the gig for a revamped Hole In The Wall, formally hosted by fellow hard men Anton du Beke and Dale Winton. No. There must be something bigger at play, and I’ve narrowed it down to 3 possible reasons;

1. He’s jealous - In the show contestants stand in front of an oversized arcade-style coin machine and answer a series of questions that determine whether money will be added or subtracted to the final prize pot. A format that suspiciously echoes that of Tipping Point, hosted by the squeaky clean James Milner of TV, Ben Shephard. And Ben Shepherd is someone to be very jealous of. He’s charismatic, a regular feature in Soccer Aid and the GMB angel that hovers on Suzanna Reid’s shoulder, counteracting the satanic shitbag that is Piers Morgan. All things Danny Dyer must only dream of, so why wouldn’t he be jealous? He has tried to play Ben Shepherd at his own game in presenting The Wall. Successfully? Only time will tell.
2. Maybe he wants to toughen up TV - Saturday nights have become a stomping ground for sequins, sob stories and Steven Mulhern. And Danny Dyer has had enough. I can’t think of any other reason you might call national treasure and question-master for the show Angela Rippon, ‘baby’. We’re talking one of the most respected newsreaders Britain has ever seen, arguably the most iconic guest to have appeared on The Morecambe & Wise Show and a CBE, reduced to the word baby by a man standing in front of an illuminated wall with all the grace of a drunk, pissing one-handed into a floor-length urinal. The only thing that even comes close to being this blokey is driving topless in a van and it wouldn’t surprise me to see Danny Dyer try make that into some sort of Saturday night entertainment.
3. Maybe I’ve got it completely wrong so far and there’s something much more intellectual at play. I’ve thought about this a lot and think Danny Dyer could have become one of the great modern day commentators of our time, and is critiquing Donald Trump’s controversial immigration policies. First and foremost it’s a show that highlights the harsh realities of what a wall can do to everyday folk. It can create desperation, build up hopes only for them to die right in front of you, and it can tear families apart. Which neatly brings me onto my next point. The second round sees the contestants separated from each other with one person going into isolation, being subject to intense scrutiny. A stark reminder of when US immigration policies saw innocent children torn away from their families. A very clever if not subtle critique. Perhaps we should be talking about Dyer in the same sentences as the likes of Slavoj Žižek and Noam Chomski? Probably not but it’s an interesting thought nonetheless.

I’m not sure we will ever be sure of Danny Dyer’s motives and his hard-as-nails exterior doesn’t give us any clues. Is it possible that a man that packs so much testosterone into a double-breasted suit that it no longer fits could actually be parodying the most powerful man on the planet, could he be doing his bit to regain some ownership over Saturday night TV for the working class geezer, or has he taken the gig for more selfish reasons? All I know for sure is that watching Danny Dyer pace up and down aggressively shouting “drop it” and threatening to nut the wall for “taking liberties” (with a silent ‘T’) makes for half decent entertainment. His name may be Dyer but the show is anything but. 7/10. Bring on series 2.