This is what travels through your mind as you consider scaling a building. In order to get into your bed. And sleep…..

-Okay this is not going to work.

-No Mother Fucker… This must work!

-Climbing the living room way will certainly make your Mother cry for days. She’ll cry that she has lost you..and that she raised an idiot.

-I love my Mom and I will not die in this ridiculous way.

-But I might be able to……..forget it superman.

-OK.. You can’t scale the front. What about the back?..

-Aaahhh yes. I can do that.. I’m going to rip my new pants, and my new white and blue shirt will be rust stained.

-Praying that the residents of the lower floors don’t get spooked and scream “Rapist”, “Thief”, “Republican”.. It’s Chicago… nobody in Chicago likes any of the above.

-Why do I pray?

-Shut up. Shut all the way up. You are standing on the window-ledge of a strangers bathroom.

-I can taste the end of this horrible journey. If I I can just cross the divide of Chicagoan back porch to Bathroom window.

-Thank God I never got fat, because that is one small bathroom window. I wonder when my high school reunion is…

-Not Now!! Idiot.

-Fuck Yeah. Once Again I have Done It!!!

-What is wrong with you.???

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