Now What? My Teenager Has Different Political Beliefs Than I do
Back when I was a teenager in the 1990’s I didn’t really have too many specific political beliefs. In fact, I would say that your average teen stayed away from most political discussions. At the time, many of us considered politics to be something that adults talked about. Sure, we may have had some general opinions on some large topics, but we tended to stay out of the nitty gritty political discourse. But that was then . . .
With the development of technology — especially the internet — teenagers have unprecedented access to political information from every conceivable viewpoint. They no longer need to simply rely on their parent’s knowledge to form their opinions. Teens can now develop informed opinions on everything from climate change to systemic racism to LGBTQ rights to election tampering and on and on. And this is not a bad thing, but it does allow your teen to begin developing political opinions that may be in complete contrast with your own. And while that’s also not necessarily a bad thing, it can be challenging for a parent to watch their son or daughter embrace politics with which they are not in agreement.
So what should parents do?
Here are a few thoughts . . .
(1) Embrace The Disagreement.
It’s ok for your teen to disagree with you. It really is. Certainly they should always respect you as their parent, but it can be such a healthy thing for them to develop their own informed opinions, regardless of whether or not those opinions are inline with yours. Be proud of them for even having an informed opinion. Our country was founded on peoples of varying political persuasions being able to live together and work together. Model this in your own home and embrace the political disagreements.
(2) Engage in The Discussion.
Be willing to objectively listen. Engage with your teenager over their political beliefs. Listen carefully to them. Ask questions to help understand their thoughts. Be willing to even change some of your own opinions if they present some solid reason for a belief that they have. But also be willing to talk. Ask them if it's ok for you to share your opinions, and the reasons for those opinions, with them. Lovingly and respectfully lay out your thoughts on whatever topic you are discussing. Give them your reasons for believing the way you do, and encourage them to ask you questions. The goal here is not to pressure them or try to manipulate them into agreeing with you, but rather to make sure they have a proper understanding of why you believe the way you do. Even if they never agree with you on a certain topic, it's helpful for them to know why their parents think and feel a certain way.
(3) Prioritize Their Character.
While political opinions are certainly important, and seem to become even more important with every passing year, perhaps they are not the most important thing about your son or daughter. What about character? Is your teenager honest? Are they loving? Compassionate? Kind? Generous? etc… If they are, then great! Celebrate that with them. Commend them for that. If however they are struggling in some basic character areas, perhaps this is where you should focus your attention. Help them develop high character. Let their opinions on political issues be secondary to that in terms of importance. My guess is, for most parents, they would be thrilled to have a son or daughter of high character — even if that son or daughter completely disagreed with them politically.
So . . . Embrace the disagreement — Engage in the discussion — Prioritize their character. Hopefully those three things will help you and your teen maintain a positive and healthy relationship, in the midst of political disagreement.
by Arthur C Woods, Teen Coach
Arthur C Woods Coaching exists to partner with parents in helping their teens develop Wisdom, Confidence and Intentionality in life. Schedule a free consultation call with Arthur at www.ArthurCWoodsCoaching.com. Let him show you how he can strategically help your teenager in a safe, virtual, 1:1 coaching environment.
